A man has gone on fire and died because he touched some fire but then he only went and drove his car into some people.

Pedro Wayrailer, 66, was thought to be cooking his dinner (pie and chips please) when his chips went on fire because he is a bad man at cooking. Mr Wayrailer tried to punch the fire so it would go away but the fire jumped on him and so then he was on fire on a bit. Then the fire got bigger so it was on him a lot. I imagine he probably ran around for about 30 seconds while screaming and hitting himself but then he died because the fire that was on him started going in him and that’s when it melts your organs.

The peril did not end there, whenever, as he came back to life from voodoo and got in his car and drove off really fast. He did a skid right on the toad, which is slippery at this time of year, and then crashed into a car with three people in it. They were killed instantly because they are made from flesh and bone which is no match for the might of steel. The man was still on fire but then wasn’t and then the fire stopped.

The crash was seen by Reku Zen, a local fisherman who doesn’t play by the rules, who had been out by the lake trying to catch a fish like how a whale catches krill. Reku Zen said something like “Herro. I rooked up from the rake and saw a rearry big crash. It was horribru.”

Mr Wayrailer will be buried in accordance with Voodoo tradition, which is in the ground. In conclusion, it is a sad story.