Parallel Universes
May 20, 2014 - 1:23 am
This is a list I started of all possible alternate universes. I never finished it because I realised that there were hundreds of them.
- The same as ours but with a slightly red hue.
- Everyone’s head is a perfect sphere.
- Cows are born when they crash from low Earth orbit.
- Japan is shaped like a massive penis.
- Gravity is very slightly less.
- The whole universe is comprised of snakes and ladders.
- The universe is only 1 metre cubed of water containing a single fish.
- Humans photosynthesise instead of eating.
- The planet Earth collided with the Moon at the creation of the solar system and both were knocked out of orbit. The space spores that created life in out universe landed on Mars and did not form.
- God exists and makes his presence known by making public appearances atop the Vatican.
- On the 5th of January 1765, everyone suddenly doubled in height. This caused major head trauma to everyone inside and meant that all pregnant mothers were torn open by their unborn babies. Scientists in that universe still do not know what caused it.
- Every electron is shaped like a smiley face.
- An earthquake caused magma to leak into the sea. The magma and sea bred to form intelligent lava which hunts down and kills anyone swimming alone at night.
- The Earth is the eyeball of a space giant. The space giants are a race thought to have created the universe. The space giants just float about aimlessly in an empty expanse.
- The shapes of planets and stars vary over time like that old Windows screensaver with that thing bouncing about.
- Paper shatters when dropped.
- Babies don’t cry but instead do a rap in order to get attention.
- Whales have developed arms and lasers.
- The universe is 2D.
- Milk comes already in the cereal box.
- Water coolers only have one tap to avoid the problem of not knowing whether the white tap or blue tap is colder.
- The smallest particle is the size of a pea.
- The rate at which time passes is proportional to the light level of the area.
- David Cameron is the first person to be Prime Minister as leader of two different parties after a surprise volte-face.
- In the year 2018, the Earth sped up until everything not bolted down was thrown into space.
- The same thing happened in a different universe a day later.
- In the mid 19th Century, an alternative to electricity was developed. Instead of electrons, radioactive particles were channelled through lead tubes to create heat and light. Early adopters of this technology soon died due to radiation poisoning and so the technology has long been forgotten.
- The ghost of Michael Jackson was cloned and shrunk down to fit in a small box so fans of his music can have him sing to them personally. It was thought that this trend would continue to other dead pop stars but it didn’t.
- All cars work like Hot Wheels and so have no engines and have to be pushed unless they’re going downhill.
- In some ways it is, is not, and it is indescribable.
- Teeth are naturally made of gold.
- Animals are sentient and live with humans.
- Wasps can fire their sting up to 100 metres.
- Women are impregnated via their mouths and that’s also where babies come out.
- An unnaturally large diplodocus protected the other dinosaurs from the cataclysm that in our universe caused their demise. The heroic diplodocus died in the process and is now revered as a God by the other dinosaurs.
- Everybody on Earth looks Chinese but nobody actually is.
- Numbers got bored at 120.
- The World’s biggest Cornish pasty weighs 200kg.
- The Universe is gay
- A giant ant is God and sometimes he is seen surfing on a giant leaf.
If you believe in the infinite universe theory, all these are true, which I think proves that theory wrong.