Omegle

You’re chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
Question to discuss:
┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐
Stranger: ok
You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
You: How are you?
Stranger: im fine! you?
You: I am also fine. I don’t have cancer.
Stranger: me too.
Stranger: wow were lucky
You: It is skill.
Stranger: oh right
Stranger: forgot that
You: I made sure I wore a condom every time I had sex with a crab.
Stranger: hm
Stranger: good guy
Stranger: cancer is no std.
You: It is. You can get it from crabs and maybe lobsters. It’s like how you can get AIDS from monkeys and apes.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: okay
Stranger: now im intelligent
You: Maybe, but you shouldn’t laugh about cancer or AIDS. They are not funny.
Stranger: right
You: I think you should apologise.
Stranger: my teacher had cancer
Stranger: my teacher died
You: Then I don’t know why you think cancer is a massive joke.
Stranger: eem
Stranger: you dont got that
Stranger: better disconnect now. Good night bro, missunderstand.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
Question to discuss:
have you seen the heavy r hardcore pornsite? i saw a guy stab needles into his balls and penis head
Stranger: .•°¤*(¯`★´¯)*¤°This is my chance. Maybe my last. And if I leave. There’s no way back. This is your fate. When worlds collapse. I took my pain. Now give it back.°¤*(¯´★`¯)*¤°•.
I give it back, give it back. Only one of us will laugh last.
Now give it back… I give it back, give it back
Break this whole fucking world in half. Break this world in half!

Nobody likes me
No one likes me
Why? ‘Cause I don’t like them
Uh huh, I don’t, nu uh

You’ll never figure me out! You can’t figure me out!
Shut the fuck up! I’ll burn you fuckers down!

Now it’s much too late, to say you’re sorry, don’t care what you think
Uh huh, I don’t, nu uh
You: You’re both cunts.
Stranger: Love
Stranger: you
Stranger: ;D
You: GAY!
Stranger: I am
Stranger: female?
Stranger: are you
Stranger: female?
Stranger: If so..
Stranger: then I am Gay.. if not.. then No.
You: I’ll turn you straight, love.
Stranger: Whut?
Stranger: Bro.
Stranger: it’s
Stranger: 3 am
Stranger: in
Stranger: the
Stranger: morning
Stranger: put my key in the door
Stranger: bodies laying all over the floor
Stranger: and
Stranger: I don’t remember how they got there, but I guessed I must
Stranger: have
Stranger: killed them
You: Oh.
Stranger: Yp
Stranger: Yo*
Stranger: I have milk
Stranger: Chocolate milk
You: I had milk but I drank it.
Stranger: I am drinkin
You: That is nice.
Stranger: i know
Stranger: it taste grwat
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i can’t spell
You: That is because you are a fucking idiot.
Stranger: Meh, not really. Spelling is a minor issue
You: It’s not just an issue for minors. Adults have to do it as well.
Stranger: Dude, may I ask? What is your problem?
You: Nothing. I’m fine, thanks for asking. How are you?
Stranger: I am.. OK.. thanks?
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: Clothes
Stranger: Yourself?
You: Just pants and socks.
Stranger: I am cold.
Stranger: and hungry
You: My bed is warm, and you can gobble me up if you want.
Stranger: I like the sound of this.
You: GAY!
Stranger: Gay?
Stranger: Are you female?
You: No. Don’t insult me.
Stranger: Then you are male?
You: No.
You: I mean yes.
Stranger: Then, I am not gay
You: So you’re female?
Stranger: Obviously
You: Unlucky.
Stranger: I know.
Stranger: I am hungry
You: There should be lots of food about because you should be in the kitchen.
Stranger: Fuck you.
You: Calm down, babe.
Stranger: Sexist bitch
Stranger: don’t call me babe.
Stranger: I hate that
Stranger: with a passion
You: What’s wrong with it? Would you rather I use “sweetheart”?
Stranger: I would rather not be named anything
You: You are such a woman.
Stranger: I know..
Stranger: Obviously
You: What is your name?
Stranger: Why do you need to know?
Stranger: I am not having you call me
Stranger: by
Stranger: my name either
Stranger: You are not worthy enough
You: You wouldn’t say that if you saw me. You would be dripping.
Stranger: Ew
Stranger: Then, I would probably not be
Stranger: What makes you say that
Stranger: /?
You: It would be like a river in a canyon between your legs. I am a dreamboat.
Stranger: Are you Fred Durst?
You: How did you know?
Stranger: Bro, he is my celebrity crush
You: I am him. Come and be my groupie.
Stranger: Any day
You: I can come to yours if you want? What’s your address?
Stranger: Uhh.. No
Stranger: CandyLand
You: You live there because you are so sweet.
Stranger: Uhh..
Stranger: SUREEEE
You: Now can I bang you?
Stranger: I think not
You: Why does every woman say that?
Stranger: Why does every man ask that?
You: Because you probably look nice.
Stranger: I mean.. the conversation is just… evidence as to why I said no
You: Fuck you. You’re a cunt. I hate you.
Stranger: :O
Stranger: You read minds?
You: I’ve been nice to you from the start and you have just been mean.
Stranger: Look, don’t have a ‘hissy fit’ because you can’t have what you want
Stranger: NO YOU HAVE NOT
Stranger: YOU SEXIST PIG
Stranger: You read the first thing you said … and tell me.. that was nice?
Stranger: The comments you have come out with
You: I was doing a parody of sexism. If you were a man you would have understood that.
Stranger: Make me wanna fuckin’ torture you
You: So you’re into BDSM?
Stranger: I hate people. You make me wanna kill every fucker in the world
Stranger: Seriously, ever heard equality
Stranger: ?
Stranger: Because dude..
Stranger: Adn
Stranger: how dare you say you have been nice.
Stranger: and HOW DARE you say I have been mean!
You: This is the Internet. On the Internet, I am better than everyone. There is no equality here, whore.
Stranger: Whore?
Stranger: Sure..
Stranger: Yeah.. a virgin.. not a whore.
Stranger: The internet does not make you better
Stranger: After this.. most people will think you are a piece of shit.
Stranger: I do.
You: In real life, I am the Nelson Mandela. This is the only place I can have a bit of fun.
Stranger: Jeez, you have a really big ego. That is disgustin.
You: My ego isn’t as big as my cock.
Stranger: You are too far up your own ass
You: I wish I was far up yours.
Stranger: Good luck finding your way out.
You: I love a deep anus. Great.
Stranger: And I am gay?
You: I don’t know. Are you?
Stranger: Go fuck a man?
Stranger: Same thing.. We both have anus
Stranger: I would say.. go fuck yourself.. but.. Your head is too far in
You: I wouldn’t be here turning you on if I could fuck myself.
Stranger: HA! You serious?
Stranger: Turn me on?
Stranger: No.
Stranger: Definitely, no.
Stranger: You are indeed the whore.
Stranger: As proven
You: Your knickers are like some toilet paper in the ocean. They are sodden.
Stranger: You fuckin’ wish you could turn me on.
Stranger: No person can do that.
You: I could give it a go if you let me.
Stranger: You couldn’t even if you wanted to.
You: Sounds like a challenge.
Stranger: Even if I wanted to*
Stranger: No.
Stranger: I am just.. not interested in sex !_! Well, I would be.. if you weren’t for you
Stranger: So, I am gonna end this with a FUCK YOU and have a nice day
You: I’ve enjoyed chatting. Do you have an e-mail address where we can keep in touch?
Stranger: Omfg.
Stranger: No
Stranger: You should take hints
Stranger: I DON’T LIKE YOU.
You: I thought we were both mucking about?
Stranger: You thought wrong
You: You’re just racist. I will get my gang on you if you ever come to South Africa.
Stranger: I am racist?
Stranger: How the fuck..
You: Just because I am the Nelson Mandela you said you hate me.
Stranger: I didn’t know who you were.. So.. how am I racisr
Stranger: I never said I hate you.
Stranger: Just because I dislike you does not make me racist
Stranger: That is a pathetic excuse
Stranger: I have many cultured friends.
Stranger: Thanks.
You: What music do you like?
Stranger: Why are you changing the subject?
Stranger: I don’t think so.
You: I want to get to know you better.
Stranger: I will no longer speak to you, until I get an apology
You: I apologise for being a dick. Sorry, nice lady.
Stranger: ¬_¬
Stranger: OK
You: And I’m not really the Nelson Mandela.
Stranger: OK
You: From where are you?
Stranger: UK
You: Which part?
Stranger: England
You: Which part?
Stranger: That is unnecessary
You: England is a big place.
Stranger: So.. You don’t need to know my exact location.
You: What county?
Stranger: Stop with where I live,
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
Question to discuss:
Tips Of how to lose weight? Or flatten your stomach?
You: Excercise, you fat prick.
Stranger: google it
You: Exercise, even
Stranger: eat healthy
You: Kill yourself.
Stranger: k k commen now
Stranger: little harsh
You: But you are annoying me.
Stranger: i dont give a fuck what im doing, dont tell the person to kill themselve
You: I’m talking to you, dickhead.
Stranger: lol, your one angry little man
You: Shut your fucking face.
Stranger: oh man you must have had a hard childhood, im sorry for you
Stranger: mad at the world
You: Don’t be sorry for me. I make £10,000 a day and I have 10 cars and 100 girlfriends.
Stranger: hahahahaha i havent a heard a lie that big since someone said that tiger woods was white, man you’re jokes
You: You’re just jealous of my 14 inch dick and massive muscles. I bet you don’t even have legs.
Stranger: haha you little insacure?
You: I’m not gay. You are gay.
Stranger: yes i do like men
You: That is because you are a gigantic homo. I am infinity percent straight. If I ever met you, I would beat you up.
Stranger: oh so you hit girls too lol thats sad
You: I’m sorry for being mean and saying I will hit you. Please will you go out with me?
Stranger: umm well .. because you said sorry…. no (: have a nice day
You: I was only joking anyway. I wouldn’t want to go out with you because you are really ugly and have AIDS.
Stranger: and this is why you have 100 imaginative girlfriends, bye now (:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
Question to discuss:
Black veil brides or Sleeping with sirens
Stranger: Lady Gaga
You: I have no idea what either of those are.
Stranger: bands
Stranger: for emos
You: Music is gay.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: just wow
You: All art forms are gay.
Stranger: rock is far from gay
You: Freddie Mercury did rock music. He was bent. Ergo, all rock music is gay.
Stranger: he was a kick ass gay man who the world loved
You: Only the gay men in the World loved him.
Stranger: and still does
Stranger: nope
Stranger: look him up
You: I don’t want to look up him. There would probably all cum in there.
Stranger: who knows you Mr non star
Stranger: loser
Stranger: no fans
Stranger: no money
Stranger: never been on tv
You: Give it time. I’m still young.
Stranger: you will never be loved if you hate gay people
Stranger: we run the music and tv gME DUDE.
You: That is untrue. I do not hate gay people.
Stranger: game
Stranger: yes you
Stranger: do
Stranger: people like you make me sick
You: Seeing as I don’t hate gay people and I make you sick, you must be a homophobe.
Stranger: Stranger: Music is gay.
Stranger: Stranger: All art forms are gay.
Stranger: Stranger: Freddie Mercury did rock music. He was bent. Ergo, all rock music is gay.
Stranger: Stranger: Only the gay men in the World loved him.
You: If I say something is black, does that make me a racist?
Stranger: I am a part of the LGBT, want my facebook?
Stranger: I am no homophobe
Stranger: i am bi
Stranger: i have sex with men and women
You: That sounds more like just being desperate.
Stranger: go fuck yourself homophobe
You: I bet you’d like to watch, wouldn’t you? I’m not a homophobe. Gays should be treated as if they were equal.
Stranger: yet to you all music is gay
Stranger: only gay people love Freddie Mercury
Stranger: get the fuck out of here homophobe
You: I think you need to calm down. You are making up things in your head.
Stranger: people like you is why us gay people get beat up
Stranger: Stranger: Music is gay.
Stranger: Stranger: All art forms are gay.
Stranger: Stranger: Only the gay men in the World loved him.
Stranger: Stranger: Freddie Mercury did rock music. He was bent. Ergo, all rock music is gay.
You: You have serious issues. You are obviously worried about your sexuality. I think being gay or bi is fine. You should accept yourself.
Stranger: i hope you die of cancer
You: Why are you being so mean? I think you hate straight people.
Stranger: i love all people just not racist pedos or homophobes
You: What is wrong with paedos?
Stranger: they fuck kids and look at porn with kids in you sick fucking asshole
You: A paedophile is just someone who is attracted to kids. They cannot help who they are attracted to. Many do not ever touch a child. I think you are thinking of child molesters.
Stranger: burn in fucking hell
Stranger: i hope you die
Stranger: die in real fucking pain
You: I pity you. You claim to love but instead you hate. I hope you realise the error of your ways. Everyone is equal.
Stranger: i hate you and evil nasty non humans like you
You: Why? Is it because I think that someone shouldn’t be judged because of their sexual orientation?
Stranger: you are scum
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Good afternoon.
Stranger: Hello. :)
Stranger: Good afternoon.
You: From where are you?
Stranger: I am from Bogota, Colombia. U?
You: England.
Stranger: that is cool. i would someday like to visit
Stranger: have you been to harry potters castle?
You: No. I am not a fan of Harry Potter.
Stranger: then this conversation is over!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Good morning. I am not a female.
Stranger: i am
Stranger: and its evening here
You: Where are you?
Stranger: in italy
You: Bonjour.
Stranger: where are you
You: England.
Stranger: i hate england with such a passion hahah
You: Why? That makes you racist.
Stranger: i lived there for five years and its so crap
Stranger: weather is crap, food is crap, people are crap
You: Italy is gay.
Stranger: wow you must be about 6 hahah
You: About 6 inches. Impressed?
Stranger: you’re really only backing up the point i just made.. i’d stop right now if i was you….
You: You love it, babe.
Stranger: and you didnt stop…………..
You: Sorry. What brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: nothing really just procrastinating from revision… what about you?
You: I am looking for my future wife. For what are you revising?
Stranger: dont think you’re going to have much luck pal
Stranger: biology and french
You: Once I met a girl on here and got a hug in real life from her. That is my third base. I know everything about Biology, because I have a body, so I can help you if you want.
Stranger: this is getting a little uncomfortable cuz i cant tell if you’re messing around or if you’re actually this gay
You: There is nothing wrong with being gay… apart from bumming another man. That is weird.
Stranger: ok i think you might actually be serious so im gonna go Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
You: How are you?
Stranger: m or f?
You: No. I’m not Morf.
Stranger: male or female -_-
Stranger: ?
You: Female please.
Stranger: name?
You: I don’t mind about her name.
Stranger: how about your mom then
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey, babe.
Stranger: what makes you think i’m babe?
You: Because if you weren’t, I would be gay for masturbating right now.
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: age?
You: I am 19 years young. How about you?
Stranger: 31 yrs
You: You are not a babe. That would make me a necrophile.
Stranger: cheers for that
Stranger: charmer I see
You: Being charming is only useful if there’s a real chance of sex.
Stranger: and what makes you think this place is a real chance?
Stranger: not getting irl
You: This place isn’t real. That’s why I’m not being charming and probably why you’re being a cunt.
Stranger: i’m not being a cunt me dear, you would do well to maybe try and sleep with 30 yr old
Stranger: might teach you a thing or two
Stranger: manners being one of them
You: Are you offering?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello.
Stranger: i am looking for indian female (above 22)
You: That’s nice.
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: age?
Stranger: city?
Stranger: ur name
You: I’m not an Indian female.
Stranger: okay
You: Shouldn’t you disconnect now?
Stranger: no problem
Stranger: were ur from /?
You: England.
Stranger: age?
You: 19.
Stranger: can u guide in masterbate nw?
You: Yes. I can guide in masterbate nw.
Stranger: okay start
You: Make your hand into a clenched fist. Then open it so the thumb and index finger create a ring that is the diameter of your tiny penis.
Stranger: hello
You: Hello.
Stranger: k
Stranger: then
You: Then slide this ring over your penis down to the base.
Stranger: k
You: Now slide this ring back to the head of your penis.
Stranger: k
You: Now return to the base.
Stranger: then fast guide me
You: And then keep going quickly until semen leaps from the head. You may find thinking of ladies helps.
Stranger: hmmm
Stranger: then
Stranger: nw i amdoin faster
You: Think about a lady in a bikini or in a nice dress, maybe lilting in the wind.
Stranger: hmmm
You: Now think about my cock.
Stranger: lol
You: There is no need to laugh. It is not that small.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Good afternoon.
Stranger: female?
You: Where?
Stranger: are you a female?
You: Am I a female?
Stranger: yes
You: If you knew the answer, why did you ask?
Stranger: you’re a rucking retard kill yourself
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like One Direction.
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hey
You: I am really digging the One Direction band.
Stranger: Lol
You: They are hip. How old are you?
Stranger: Haha 16
Stranger: Hbu
You: I am 19. What colour panties are you wearing?
Stranger: Umm why do you need to know
You: I just wondered if we had the same colour underwear and then we would be like soulmates.
Stranger: Lol your Wierd
You: I’m not a sex offender.
Stranger: Lol mm okay good to know I guess
You: Got a boyfriend, cutie-pie?
Stranger: Yeah
You: How old is he?
Stranger: 17
You: You need an older man, babe.
Stranger: What do you mean he is older
You: Older than he is, though. Maybe about 19.
Stranger: Lol why 19
You: The ratio of 16 to 19 is approximately 0.84. That’s what it should be in a relationship.
Stranger: Lol mm okay good to know
You: Do you want to meet up sometime?
Stranger: Sure?
You: Excellent. What’s your address?
Stranger: Umm tmi
You: Come on, sweetheart. How can we meet if I don’t know where you live?
Stranger: Umm the. Let’s not meet
Stranger: Then*
You: You are a fucking cocktease, you little fucking bitch. One day, I will find you and kill you and then rape your cute little corpse, you fucking whore.
You: Sorry. That was meant to be in another conversation.
Stranger: Umm okay perv
You: I apologise again. Do you want to see a picture of my cock as a way of saying sorry?
Stranger: Eww no!
You: OK then, my little sugarpuff, may I have a picture of you?
Stranger: Umm don’t call me sugarpuff and no!
You: You don’t even have to be full naked in it – just topless will do. What would you prefer I call you? What’s your name?
Stranger: Ok so your the biggest perv ever and nothing just disconnect … Fuck off bastard
You: I’m sorry, sweetie. I love you. Please don’t go.
Stranger: Well um I don’t love you
You: But I thought we had something special. You are just so pretty and kind and intelligent and stuff.
Stranger: No and you can’t even see me so
You: But I know you are.
Stranger: Um okay thanks?
You: Are you still mad at me, honeycomb?
Stranger: You asked for a pic of me with no shirt yeah I’m still mad
You: Sorry. I thought we were at that stage of our relationship. I would be happy for just a photo of your beautiful face.
Stranger: Um no and we have no relation ship so get over your self
You: Why are you being so mean to me? Do I mean nothing to you?
Stranger: Okay sorry but you are kinda perverted
You: I’m really not. I’m just not thinking straight because of how perfect you are.
Stranger: Lol thanks ….. But you still don’t even know me
You: I know you enough to know that I love you and I want to marry you and make love to you and have kids with you and be with you forever and ever. You complete me.
Stranger: Umm okay I have a bf anyways so that can’t happen sorry
You: I can take care of him for you. Gone without a trace. Would you like that, my little angel?
Stranger: No! I love him so no
You: I don’t think you do love him. Not properly. I can make him disappear so then we an be together. I know that is what you want.
Stranger: Umm yeah no and I do love him so stop talking
You: I would stop talking if you were here right now. I would be too busy kissing you all over, but mainly on your lips, breasts and vagina.
You: And anus if you’re into that.
Stranger: Eww no!
You: OK. I’ll just stick to your pussy.
Stranger: Go fuck your self bastard
You: I love it when you talk dirty to me. Have I been a bad boy?
Stranger: I’m not so leave go die
You: I know you’re mad at me now, but I’m sure we’ll get through this little setback in our relationship.
Stranger: There is no relationship and theres no us , soo..
You: You are so silly. Tell me you love me.
Stranger: I hate you -_-
You: We both know that’s not true, petal.
Stranger: Every one knows it’s true that I hate you
You: You’ve already told everyone about me? I am touched you love me so much already.
Stranger: No it’s an expression you stupid asshole
You: An expression of your love for me?
Stranger: No not at all
You: What do you think our children will look like?
Stranger: Ugly faggots cause I’m with you
You: I am glad you accept that you are with me now, and even if I was the ugliest man on Earth, which I am certainly not, your looks would make our children the sexiest kids ever.
Stranger: Omg what do you look like anyways
Stranger: And no I don’t exempt it
You: I am more attractive than all of One Direction combined.
Stranger: Umm yeah keep dreaming
You: I will keep dreaming about having you with beside me as my wife.
Stranger: Ha okay you can but it will never happen
You: Never say never, buttonmuff.
Stranger: Umm I just did and wtf is buttonmuff
You: That’s just my little pet name for my favourite lady in the World ever.
Stranger: Lol okay what ever you say
You: What’s your name?
Stranger: Madison you?
You: What a lovely name. What’s your second name, cottonbun? I am called Lydon.
Stranger: Lol I’m not giving you my last name!
You: Come on, Madi, sweetie. It won’t even be your last name for much longer when we get married.
Stranger: No!
You: Why not? Are you scared I’ll hunt you down and kill you? I promise I probably won’t.
Stranger: “probably ” yeah no not happening
You: Why are you being such a cunt about this? You know that we are going to be together, whether you like it or not, so you may as well just get it over with now without any bloodshed.
Stranger: What!!
Stranger: And I’m not so shut the fuck up
You: I am going to find you and make you mine. I don’t want to hurt you, my dear Madi, but I will if you don’t co-operate.
Stranger: Okay bye
You: If you leave now, you’re only making it more painful for yourself.
Stranger: K bye
You: You won’t go because you love me so much. I know you, Madi.
Stranger: K bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle couldn’t find anyone who shares interests with you, so this stranger is completely random. Try adding more interests!
You: Hello. I am male.
Stranger: same
Stranger: age?
You: Yes, I do.
Stranger: do what?
You: I age. I thought you asked me if I aged.
Stranger: lol….how old r u?
You: 19.
Stranger: 29
Stranger: I trade pics of my wife in lingerie with guys having similar type pics……if interested?
You: Have you heard of the Internet? You can find loads of pictures like that on there.
Stranger: yeah I prefer the intereaction with people
You: You like the interaction with guys? Are you a gay?
Stranger: lol…no
Stranger: i like pics of women wearing lingerie
You: But you like a man to give them to you so he knows you are masturbating?
Stranger: I enjoy trading pics of my wife too
Stranger: thats fine
Stranger: but wanking to pics of his wife or gf
You: And you like to imagine him doing the same about your wife?
Stranger: sure thats fine
Stranger: I dont mean to offend u
You: That is definitely a bit gay.
Stranger: if u say so but I dont think so
Stranger: I take it ur not interested?
You: No thanks.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Good hello.
Stranger: hi
You: When you are today what are your felling inside?
Stranger: are you using a translator?
You: I am not a translator when I speak to you.
Stranger: you’re a bot?
You: I am a bot when from metal but I am skin.
Stranger: you’re damn intelligent to be a skin
Stranger: you mean you have a skin
You: I am a flesh when I organs breathe of heart.
Stranger: yeah, you’re a bot
Stranger: and you still have a lot to learn
You: If bot you remain here keep?
Stranger: but keep up the good work
Stranger: or rather, improve the work
Stranger: impres me
You: If you question I will answer me.
Stranger: are you human?
You: I am human.
Stranger: is english your native language?
You: My language which I can speak from the place I am is English.
Stranger: what is the language your mother spoke to you?
You: My mother is language from the where I became so it is English.
Stranger: what do your parents do for a living?
You: My parents are living so they have job but my Dad is not job but my Mum is calculator for company.
Stranger: is your mother human?
You: Human calculator is mother for wages and adds them for men and women who are human.
Stranger: how comes your sentences are messed up?
You: Alcohol in chips is short circuit so random connections jumble words of.
Stranger: can you estimate the alcohol level in your blood?
You: Blood is electrons so percent can when 5 or maybe 10 is human was a vodka from tap.
Stranger: what are the above mentioned chips made of?
You: I am chips from the silicon flesh.
Stranger: i thought so
Stranger: i had a fun time talking to you
Stranger: bye
You: OK. Bye.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Good hello.
Stranger: a good hello?
You: A good hello to you.
Stranger: yes, good hello to you too
You: What can you when today?
Stranger: what? that didn’t make too much sense
You: Is English your first language? You seem to be struggling a bit.
Stranger: no it’s not, and i’m not struggling
Stranger: what can you when today isn’t really logical either
You: I can when you today, so I would say it does make sense.
Stranger: there’s nothing behind can
Stranger: you’re saying you can …
You: You’re not making any sense. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Stranger: ein bischen
Stranger: you can’t just translate anything from German
Stranger: it doesn’t always make sense in English
You: But when I can today is your? It definitely makes sense.
Stranger: no it doesn’t make sense
Stranger: explain to me what you are asking
Stranger: wenn Ich kann Heute ist dich
You: I am asking that if I was to go onto the today if you could also be to able off?
Stranger: that’s what you’re saying, it doesn’t make any sense
You: I’ll try to say it in language you can understand. How are you today? Does that make sense to you?
Stranger: yes, that was understandable
Stranger: i’m doing fine, and you ?
You: I am well today.
Stranger: just today? or are you well most of the time ?
You: I am well today but when the time is not today I am usually well but that is dependent upon external factors.
Stranger: such as
Stranger: weather?
You: The weather is factor that influences if I am able to achieve happiness on a day but I can be happy even if the weather is inclement.
Stranger: were you asking me if i was mentally good today, or physically good today? because i find it hard to believe one can be physically happy
You: An erection is indicative of one’s physically happiness. Do you have an erection? Stuff like kittens and laughing babies give me an erection.
Stranger: erection’s aren’t an indicative of one’s physical happiness. erections occur when a male is arroused
You: When someone is happy, that someone is aroused and has an erection. What makes you become into a state of arousal?
Stranger: when someone is happy it doesn’t mean they’re aroused; that would mean i’d be aroused all of the time
Stranger: even unhappy people can get erections
Stranger: state of arousal? attractive women
You: Unhappy people become diarrhoea but happiness is from an erection when you can become of.
Stranger: what are you smoking?
You: Fire becomes smoke when it is in the air. I am not on fire.
Stranger: man, smoke is unburnable particles that get send in the air because of the heat
You: Am I hot?
Stranger: how am i supposed to know, ask your mom
You: My Mum said I was an erection which gave me a feeling inside that I was happy.
Stranger: your mind is messed up
Stranger: or you’re messing with me now
You: Since I was in when I spoke I have been my intention to intentionally messing you and English is perfect when I am able to speak when.
Stranger: that sentence was grammatically false
Stranger: so it’s not perfect
Stranger: you can mess ‘with’ me, not mess me. you can speak ‘in’ English, you can’t English
You: So you are being able to say that I can speak in English and mess with you?
Stranger: i’m able to say a lot of things
Stranger: but that’s not what i was saying, my point was to correct your wrongs
Stranger: anyway i got to when go now when erection go
Stranger: auf wiedersehen to your german nuts
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
My girlfriend is getting rapidly attached to her male friend who lives a couple provinces away, all though I know that they will probably never meet, I find myself getting jealous. Should I be?
Stranger: Yes
You: Stem the threat. Kill him.
Stranger: Im guessing your a gril judging from that answer
You: And I’m guessing you’re a faggot from all the cock you suck.
Stranger: damn your smart
You: Thanks.
Stranger: Do you want me to suck yours as well ?
You: Yes please.
Stranger: Aww its too small for me to hold it.. poor you
You: My penis is 14 inches long so you are a liar.
Stranger: damn 14 mm ?
You: No. That’s just the average diameter of my pubic hairs.
Stranger: your boring.. :\
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
snapchat anything to Osamabinhidin….do it, i dare ya
You: What?
Stranger: im 12
Stranger: i want to bang a big bootyh btich
You: OK, but make sure you wear a condom, little girl.
Stranger: im not a girl man
Stranger: im a boy
You: No. You are a girl.
Stranger: ill kick ur ass
Stranger: say it agan
You: You’ll lick my ass? Are you a gayboy?
Stranger: wow do u relly want me to beat u up huh? i didnt think so u fag
Stranger: u kno ill fuck ur mom and beat ur ass with my fist
You: Sounds like you want to fist me. You are definitely a little bender.
Stranger: first of all u r gay. and im not. i get bitchs all day and ur mmom to.
Stranger: how old r u?
You: I am 19. Do you really get bitches every day?
Stranger: yup. r u jellus? u peece of crap punk
Stranger: u dont have swag like me
You: Please teach me how to be like you.
Stranger: u justin beiber fag wanna be
You: I don’t want to be like Bieber. I want to be just like you.
Stranger: i bet u do. i will take u under my wing and tech u how to have swag
You: Please do. How do I have swag?
Stranger: fisrt stop being a BITHC.
You: OK. First I will stop being a BITHC.
Stranger: my mom siad go to bed. i tole her no. ima boss thats y
Stranger: u a boss?
You: Not as much of a boss as you are. You are THE boss.
Stranger: dam strait nigga
Stranger: i even skate
You: You are rate hardcore, ma nigga.
Stranger: i bet u r so fat the wheels pop off ur skatebored and u shove the wheel up ur ass
You: No, son, that’s never happened.
Stranger: where do u live?
You: England.
Stranger: im gunna fuck ur sisterd
You: How many girls have you fucked in total? Is it over 1,000?
Stranger: no
You: How many?
Stranger: 2 cuz i fuk ur mom and sister
Stranger: u mad bro?
You: Have you really only had sex with 2 people? That is rubbish. I thought you were a player, but you’s just some gay-ass fag.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

It’s a shame he had to go to bed, because he could have taught me so much.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
What do you think Rainbow Dash’s candy vag would taste like? I like to fantasize it tasting like skittles.
Stranger: Probably gay bacon strips
You: You are sick.
You: Both of you.
Stranger: Whatever, bro
Stranger: To each his own
You: Would you feel the same if I was a murderer paedo?
Stranger: Probably
Stranger: Are you?
You: I’m not a murderer.
Stranger: Ohhhhhh
Stranger: I get it
You: I would definitely make love to a beautiful child, though.
Stranger: Okkkaaay
Stranger: That’s definitely not as bad as having sex with adult horses, eh?
You: Adult horses can’t consent.
Stranger: Sure they can
Stranger: I’ve heard them say NEEEEIGH before
Stranger: And I always oblige
You: So you work on the logic that if she doesn’t say no, that’s consent?
Stranger: Yes
You: I don’t have to feel bad about what I do now.
Stranger: That’s too bad
You: Love between two humans is a beautiful thing. Love between two different species is not.
Stranger: Ok then
You: Would you have sex with a dead person?
Stranger: Of course not
You: What if it was their dying wish?
Stranger: You mean before they die?
You: It was their wish for you to have sex with them after they died.
Stranger: I don’t think anyone would do that, though
Stranger: Besides, what would they get out of it
You: They could look down from Heaven and masturbate. That is what snow is.
Stranger: Wait, so it would be a guy?
You: Yes. A little 12-year-old guy with leukaemia, and all he wants to make him happy is for you to have sex with his corpse. Are you really such an evil man that you wouldn’t do it?
Stranger: Wow, this is fucked up
Stranger: I’m outta here
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hi!
You: Calm down.
Stranger: Lol what? Im calm!
Stranger: Exclamation marks dont mean im not calm, just happy
You: Why are you so happy?
Stranger: Idk, im just a happy person, why arent you so happy
You: Because the World is gay.
Stranger: Only if you perceive it that way :) glass half full ya know
You: Surely it depends on what’s in the glass? If the glass was full of monkey semen and you had to drink it, you would be optimistic to say it’s half empty. [Richard Herring joke]
Stranger: Lol very true, unless..wait. No..that would just suck lol
You: Do you speak from experience?
Stranger: Hahaha noooo no
You: Then you’ve never lived.
Stranger: Oh so you have experinced the glass full of monkey semen then huh
You: Yes. Because they eat so many bananas, it’s lovely. You should try it.
Stranger: Oh so gross..semen is ado
Stranger: Oops gross lol
Stranger: Youve been so entertaining so far, im curious whats taking you forever to type!
You: It said you were typing so I was waiting for you to finish.
Stranger: Such a gentleman lol
Stranger: Or woman I should say, wouldnt want to assume
You: Don’t call me a woman. That is very offensive because I am sexist.
Stranger: Why are you sexist
Stranger: Also I wasnt calling you a woman, I didnt know your gender so I didnt want to assume :)
You: I am sexist because all woman hate me so I hate them back.
Stranger: Aw not all women hate you! I dont hate you so you have to take back some of your hate! And not all women are bitches, some are nice!
You: All the woman I grope in the street seem to hate me, though.
Stranger: Well maybe try a nice introduction first next time, many women would drop their skirts for a polite man!
You: So I should just say please before I feel them up?
Stranger: Preferably :)
You: Please may I feel you up?
Stranger: Lol I should have seen that coming lol but maybe someday haha
Stranger: I just realized there was entirely too many lols in that sentence…i swear im not an idiot young girl, 23 to be clear
You: You’re practically an old lady. I don’t want to feel you up now I know you are an old lady.
Stranger: Oh so mean! I revoke your gentleman status!
You: And so I hate you.
Stranger: I never said I hated you, just that youre not nice anymore so I still reject your hate!
Stranger: Well its been fun, but I gotta go Mr. sexist ;)
You: OK, bye Mrs. Lady. Love you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
im 20 year old guy, and my height is 5″10, am i short?
You: No. You are average.
Stranger: for me yes but not really
You: How tall are you?
Stranger: 5’8
You: Midget.
Stranger: im f
Stranger: and in heels im like 6
You: On stilts I’m 7 foot. On the top of the Eiffel Tower I’m like 20 foot.
Stranger: you’d be more than 20 foot on the eiffel tower babe
Stranger: am i short for a girl?
You: No. You are average.
Stranger: i am not average i am tall
Stranger: you should see nearly all my friends and family and everyone i know average 5’4
You: Do you have a picture?
Stranger: some a lot under
Stranger: haha no
Stranger: why would i give you one anyway
You: So I can masturbate over it.
Stranger: ohh, thats great (sarcasm)
You: What is sarcasm?
Stranger: you dont know what sarcasm is? ahaha how old are you
You: 19 and I really don’t know what sarcasm is.
Stranger: google it
You: Because I know what Google is.
Stranger: where you from
You: England. How about you, sugarpuff?
Stranger: ahahahaha
Stranger: sugarpuff, im peeing
You: Niiiiiiiiiice.
Stranger: i was joking
Stranger: just incase you didnt know
Stranger: because you dont understand sarcasm
Stranger: your not fucking english
Stranger: if you were then you would definatly know what google is and you would know what sarcasm is
You: I said I knew what Google was.
Stranger: ohh i thought you were being sarcastic ahahahah even though you dont know what it is
Stranger: just google sarcasm
You: I’ve Googled and I still have no idea. Is it a kind of cake?
Stranger: ahahahahahhahahahahahahahah
Stranger: you are joking arent you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
how do you stop loving someone you have loved for as long as you can remember?
Stranger: umm
You: Kill yourself.
Stranger: move on
Stranger: xD ahahahah
You: Or move on.
Stranger: dont say that theyre getting the rope ready as me speak
You: Good.
Stranger: and seriously dont think about it go meet more people
Stranger: ahahahah
You: Yeah, get off the Internet and get a life, you homo.
Stranger: lool so what have we got??
You: You and the asker have got AIDS. That’s what you’ve got.
Stranger: oh shit how did you know got it from your dad
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
You know what you should be for Halloween next year? A Dish. Bitches like doing dishes.
Stranger: Clever
You: That’s racist against women.
Stranger: You mean sexist
You: Saying one woman is sexiest is all racist. They are all equally sexy.
Stranger: No I mean the term is sexist. It means discriminating women and yes, all women are beautiful
You: How can a term be sexy?
Stranger: Never mind. I wasn’t saying “sexiest” I was saying “sexist”. Two different terms
You: Two different terns? Like the Arctic tern and the Peruvian tern?
Stranger: Oh I’m sorry. I meant two different words
You: Which two words did you mean?
Stranger: “Sexiest”, meaning most sexy, and “sexist”, meaning discrimative against women
You: Are you calling me sexy? You don’t even know me.
Stranger: No, I’m not. But I bet you’re a good person
You: You mean you don’t think I’m sexy?
Stranger: Well I don’t know you. But sure. Everyone is sexy in their own way
You: Even Stephen Hawking?
Stranger: Even him. Sexy doesn’t have to mean good-looking, though
You: Can a germ be sexy?
Stranger: Um, sure
You: Can even AIDS be sexy?
Stranger: AIDS isn’t a human, but it is a virus. I don’t know the answer to that one. It’s all based on how you see it, I guess.
You: If a Japanese lady was cosplaying as an AIDS, would she be sexy?
Stranger: And how would you cosplay as AIDS? Like a virus costume? But regardless, as you’ve said before, all women are sexy, so yes.
You: Would she still be sexy if she had AIDS and was spreading it about via a needle?
Stranger: That’s just plain mean.
You: Are mean things sexy?
Stranger: They may be on the outside, but that does not make their personality sexy
You: What is they were schizophrenic and their personality was normally that of a French maid or nurse, but sometimes they were Hitler. Is that sexy?
Stranger: You ask a lot of questions. In their own way, yes. But not when they’re killing people
You: What if they were killing people in sexy ways?
Stranger: That’s a tough one. It all depends on your definition of sexy. If you mean that as sexually attractive, then yes. If you mean it as a beautiful personality, then no
You: What is sex?
Stranger: Are you old enough to know? It’s kind of adult content
You: Do you think I’m old enough, mister?
Stranger: I won’t ask your age, because its not my right to know that. If you are in your teens, it’s probably alright, but teenagers usually know what sex is
You: I know it has willys involved.
Stranger: Yes, it does. To put it simply, it’s when a mom and dad make a baby
You: Is it like making a cake?
Stranger: Not exactly. I don’t know how to explain it, because I don’t want to get in trouble. Maybe ask someone else
You: Would you get in trouble with the teachers because they are meant to teach it?
Stranger: Teachers don’t teach it until you’re in High school. But sometimes mom and dad teach it
Stranger: But don’t ask mom and dad until they think you’re ready to know
You: If they teach me, do I get a baby?
Stranger: No, you don’t. Hopefully, you won’t have a baby until you’re married
You: But if I find one, do I get to keep it?
Stranger: No, it usually belongs to another mommy or daddy I have to go now. Have a nice night
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
I’ve been talking to this girl via FB for about 3 days …tomorrow i’m gonna ask for her phone number so should i call her or wait (( i never saw her face to face ))Her school is next to mine
You: Wait and then text.
Stranger: Just ask her to go out for a theater/museum visit
Stranger: that’s unusual. that will get you some extra points
Stranger: (Don’t think, just DO!)
You: And then if she doesn’t have sex after that, she deserves to be raped.
Stranger: sex is overrated totally.
Stranger: just spend some months with her.
You: Only a virgin would say sex is overrated.
Stranger: be a Gentleman. NEver try something sexual until she can’t hold it anymore….
Stranger: only THEN it will be AMAZING!
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: Stranger, I’m a 32-year old man, having 2 children. So much about “virgin”
Stranger: ;)
You: You have only had sex twice.
You: Once actually, because they are twins.
You: And they are adopted so you have never had sex,
Stranger: If you say so. I more guess, you’
re some kind of child, just want to act like a “BIG GUY”
Stranger: like all 12 to 25-year-old-males do
You: I am a big guy because I have had sex with infinity women.
Stranger: to be the cooles alive & shit
Stranger: after seeing your son/daughter 1st time, you recognize that’s rubbish, so much…
Stranger: …belive, I was the same like you once.
You: I don’t have a son or a daughter, though.
Stranger: Still not. But if you have one day, you will understand what I mean.
Stranger: I don’t want you to understand now. Enjoy your freedom!
Stranger: but recognize: Not everyone is having your standarts of what is “cool” & what is not…
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: *standards
You: Everyone with exception knows I am the coolest trendy hip man on planet Amazing.
You: The exception is nobody.
Stranger: I really would see you, if your wife is handeling your 1st son to you…..
You: I don’t have a wife.
Stranger: that would be an awesomne moment…. seeing the wall of coolness & guy shit breaking….
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Porn links?
You: motherless.com
Stranger: eh
Stranger: xnxx
You: Are you even old enough to look at porn?
Stranger: 21
You: I bet you’re actually 12.
Stranger: then you would be assuming the Internet is false all the time.
You: No. You are just a big fat liar.
Stranger: no actually, I’m honest as day.
You: Honest as gay, more like.
Stranger: no i have a girlfriend.
Stranger: here check this out if you have a kik give me your name.
You: A girlfriend who looks like a man.
Stranger: no she’s very beautiful actually, and an Oprah singer.
Stranger: we’re going to college together.
You: She’s in a gospel choir?
Stranger: no all state choir.
You: But she sings like Oprah?
Stranger: yeah. there isn’t much out here for her
Stranger: she’s going to a University next semester. they have actually classes for her degree
Stranger: eventually she’s going to new York
You: If she was being attacked, would she beat the man off?
Stranger: she’s got mace, and I would kill him.
Stranger: no mercy rip his throat out killbhim
You: She’s got a mace? Is she from the middle ages?
Stranger: she’s getting her concealed carry license but no gun yet. father is a sgt. police officer.
You: Is it a license to kill?
Stranger: she’s covered. don’t talk like that. it is rude and quite honestly pisses me off. i know it’s the Internet but fuckings seriously. be nice.
Stranger: license to carry a firearm
You: I am being nice. I really like your girlfriend. I want to cum in her.
Stranger: yeah, that’s ridiculous. you must be the 12 year old.
You: I haven’t been 12 in over 2 years.
Stranger: I’m done. Go talk shit to idiots. I’m here for real conversation.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Good morning.
Stranger: m25
You: You live in London?
Stranger: no
Stranger: do you?
You: No. Why did you mention the M25?
Stranger: that is your menstrual cycle
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
why do airplanes have those things on the sides, it would be more aerodynamic without them
Stranger: You are about as smart as a cabbage, eh?
You: It would be too aerodynamic and fly into space like a rocket.
Stranger: More like it would be so aerodynamic it would fall like a rock
Your conversational partner has disconnected.