Omegle

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy gurl u wan sum fuk?????????? wan taste 12 yrs old dik?????
You: They definitely don’t.
Stranger: you mean centimeter peter
You: Don’t joke about stuff like that.
Stranger: sory dude mt bad thought ut was funny
You: There’s nothing funny about having a micropenis.
Stranger: except the laugjs you would get from women lol
You: They are just hurtful.
Stranger: damn man you sohnd like you exoerience this problem lol
You: No. Shut up.
Stranger: golly gee did i strike a nerve
You: Why are you being so mean?
Stranger: not bein mean jus kiddin around
You: Well stop.
Stranger: dint think u were serious
Stranger: why?
You: It’s not funny.
Stranger: how do u auffer from this
You: I don’t. Just shut up.
Stranger: or does your boyfriend hVe that problem
You: I’m not gay either. I thought he was a woman.
Stranger: wtf
You: Nothing.
Stranger: sounds gay to.me
You: At least I’m not a paedophile.
Stranger: so your male fuck buddy has this problem
Stranger: and im no pedo either
You: Then why do you have sex with children?
Stranger: i dont every girl i have had sex with has been over 18 even when i was younger they like the size sorry bro i dnt got your problem
You: Every girl you had sex with was over 18, but the boys you have sex with are probably only about 5.
Stranger: i dont have sex with boys i dnt like dick just have one
You: You love sucking cock.
Stranger: do you keep the magnifying glass by you bed now so you can find your brothers dick
You: If I wanted to find my brother’s dick, I’d look inside your mouth.
Stranger: aint no dick in my mouth
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Do you have msn? Leave your e-mail down below, so we can chat :D
You: Gay.
Stranger: you can chat right here
Stranger: @_@
You: Do you like kids?
Stranger: not much
You: That’s a shame. We could have made some together.
Stranger: that doesn’t seem likely
Stranger: I’m a guy and I like guys. that doesn’t lead to kids all that often
You: We could make a bum baby.
Stranger: o_O
You: When I shoot my load up your bottom, your poo and my jizz will mix and make a mixed race bum baby.
Stranger: that sounds kinda gross
You: But that’s what your lot like.
Stranger: I don’t have a lot
Stranger: and I don’t care for poop
You: Then why do you put your willy into another man’s bottom? You know that’s where poo comes from, don’t you?
Stranger: … I don’t do that
You: You’re a straightlord.
You: Go and have sex with a lady, straighto.
Stranger: ew
You: You love women and touching them on the breast.
Stranger: I love guys and touching them on the dic
Stranger: k
You: Nope. You love girls. You want to kiss them.
Stranger: I want to hug guys
You: You want to have a woman’s nipple on you.
Stranger: I … guess it would be interesting
You: I knew you were a hetero all along.
Stranger: I wish I knew it
Stranger: cor
Stranger: life will be so different
You: I bet you will go and have sex with a lady now.
Stranger: just point me to urmom
You: That’s not funny. Shut up.
Stranger: oh, ok
Stranger: sorry
You: Good, straighty.
Stranger: kbye
You: Bye, sexy.
Stranger: mwah
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: Hi :)
You: Who are you?
Stranger: Devin hbu :)
You: Lydon.
Stranger: Nice to meet you
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Canada wbu?
You: England.
Stranger: Nice :) you straight?
You: Yes. You?
Stranger: No, bi
You: Where are you going?
Stranger: Sorry? No where?
You: You just said bye.
Stranger: No.. Bisexual
Stranger: Hahahaha
You: What does that mean? Were you born the opposite sex?
Stranger: No…
Stranger: It means I like girls and boys
You: Isn’t that a paedophile?
Stranger: No.. A pedophile is someone who like little girls and boys
You: Midgets?
Stranger: Go hang yourself
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
if you’re atheist or agnostic, you need a good slap across your ugly face.
You: How do you know I’m ugly?
Stranger: whats up flanders
You: What’s up him? A buttplug.
Stranger: haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
I just wanted to share the love! Have a nice day you adorable stranger, and remember that somewhere out there, there’s someone thinking about you :) Greetings from a lebanese guy..
You: How can a guy be a lesbian?
Stranger: Naww, thanks :’)
You: You’re welcome.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Do you like Rin Kagamine x Miku Hatsune? <3
You: No.
You: I hate it.
Stranger: none
Stranger: ikr
You: It is the worst Japanese thing.
Stranger: ikr
Stranger: idont even know them
You: Me neither.
Stranger: so
Stranger: wat up
You: My cock. I am erect.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: :p
You: That is a sexy face.
Stranger: ikr
You: Got a boyfriend, gayboy?
Stranger: no
You: Why not?
Stranger: idk
You: Are you hideously ugly?
Stranger: no
You: Yes you are.
Stranger: how do u know
You: Webcam.
Stranger: wat wed cam
You: The one I installed in your room.
Stranger: do i didnt
Stranger: i dont even know
Stranger: y are u being such a dick
You: Because you are very ugly. You should be in a carnival.
Stranger: i know something u dont want to talk to me cuz u r gay
Stranger: and still a virgin
Stranger: and still wanna be a virgin until marrage
You: You are a virgin and gay and ugly, so I win.
Stranger: u know wat ugly dick useless bastard gay ass smart idoit
Stranger: ass hole
Stranger: motherfuker
Stranger: rapist
Stranger: virgin
Stranger: gay
Stranger: ungly
Stranger: single
Stranger: asss hole
You: Why are you being so mean to me?
Stranger: u were mean to me first
You: I was being friendly.
Stranger: like i said u r a stupid dick
You: You’ll never lose your virginity if you treat people like this.
Stranger: sory already lost t
You: Was your Dad gentle?
Stranger: u ass
Stranger: it wasnt my dad
You: Uncle?
Stranger: boyfriend
Stranger: i reped him
You: That’s a bit gay.
Stranger: sory am a female
You: I’m sorry for being mean. Do you want to meet up sometime? Please have sex with me.
Stranger: k
You: Whore.
Stranger: gay
You: Do you want me to come and rape you to prove I’m not gay?
Stranger: ok
You: Whore.
Stranger: my pussy is opened
You: Close it to keep it warm please until I get there.
Stranger: gay
You: What’s your address, sugarcube?
Stranger: y
You: I want to come round.
Stranger: where do u live
Stranger: am a porn actress
You: Really? I thought you had to be pretty to be a porn actress?
Stranger: ur mom
You: You’re my Mum? What are you doing on Omegle, mother?
Stranger: omg
Stranger: now i know who u r
Stranger: u r that
Stranger: beggar i saw on street
You: Was it that obvious?
Stranger: then i saw u kissing a guy
You: Oh no. The truth’s coming out now. Then what did I do?
Stranger: u told me to close my pussy and keep it warm well it still open and warm cuz am hot and pretty and straight unlike u
You: So you’re sitting about with a gaping cunt? How does that reflect badly on me?
Stranger: that shows u r gay
You: My Jap’s eyes is open wide at the moment. Does that make me gay?
Stranger: well let skip this part and ahve sex
Stranger: i mean am sitting close 2
Stranger: pussy
Stranger: breast poen
Stranger: dick should be inside by now
Stranger: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Stranger: like am HORNY
Stranger: need SEX
You: I’m sure you can find a horse or leper who don’t mind about your looks.
Stranger: okey bye
You: Bye, honeybabe.
Stranger: dont call me namme uglyshit
You: Why not, buttonmuff?
Stranger: why not dwarfdick
You: Why are you thinking about my penis? You have a dirty mind.
Stranger: cuz am horny
You: You should get a sex toy, because there’s no way anyone would want to have sex with you.
Stranger: sorry u already did
You: I must have been very drunk to have sex with you. Still counts, though.
Stranger: well am prennagent
You: No! Why do the good always get prennagent?!
Stranger: i was meant to be gone
Stranger: bye uglyshit
Stranger: any last words before i leave
You: Please may I have a nude photo?
Stranger: no
Stranger: am ugly
You: I don’t mean one of you, Heaven forbid. Just one of a pretty girl will do.
Stranger: okey
Stranger: e-mail
You: lapearsall@googlemail.com Send me porn please.
Stranger: no
Stranger: just go on
Stranger: 4tube
Stranger: cartoontube
You: Can you recommend any search terms?
Stranger: or something
Stranger: i ddint understand
You: What kind of porn should I look at?
Stranger: any
You: Even stuff with kids and dead people? You make me sick.
Stranger: yes
You: I searched that and it came up with some sort of warning. What does that mean?
Stranger: what waning type it
You: “The search terms you have entered are forbidden. Your IP address has been logged.”
Stranger: maybe it because of ur face
You: At least you can tell it’s a face. The thing on your head looks like mash potato and beans.
Stranger: it a ur dick
You: You can leave whenever you want, suncakes.
Stranger: k
Stranger: i love u
Stranger: anyways
You: Love you too.
Stranger: joke
You: Yeah. Me too…
Stranger: so do u like me
You: Other than your appearance, yes.
Stranger: thx
Stranger: but i dont like u dick appearance
Stranger: say thx
You: You don’t look that bad actually, Ifeoluwa.
Stranger: how do u know my name
Stranger: who are u
Stranger: where are u
You: Somebody who knows you very well, Miss David-Oluwole. You know where I am.
Stranger: what ur name
Stranger: where
You: You know who I am and where I am, babe.
Stranger: no
Stranger: Tell me now
You: Why are you so curious?
Stranger: idk
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: tell me who u are
You: A friend.
Stranger: from where
You: Ghana?
Stranger: who
You: I’m not going to tell you. Stop being creepy.
Stranger: oh yes u r
You: You keep asking where I live and what my name is. That is creepy.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: just tell me ur name
You: Lydon. Happy now, pervert?
Stranger: how do u know mw
You: I’ve been watching you.
Stranger: how
You: With my eyes.
Stranger: plz tell me about u
Stranger: and i will answer any questions
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: u fist answer my question then will answer urs
You: I watch you with the webcam.
Stranger: more information
You: The webcam I installed in your room to spy on you.
Stranger: am not n my roon
You: I can see that. I’m not looking at you at the moment.
Stranger: so who is in the room right now
You: Some weirdo.
Stranger: tellme
Stranger: so that i can answer u ques#
You: I’m not going to play your little game. I’ll just wait until you go to bed to see what you’re wearing.
Stranger: no
You: How are you going to stop me seeing?
Stranger: just tell me who u r
You: I’ve already told you.
Stranger: full information
Stranger: like how u new
Stranger: knew
Stranger: me
Stranger: how old are u
Stranger: which skul
Stranger: etc
You: 19. I just watch you when you go to school.
Stranger: tell me more
Stranger: how do u know me
You: I just saw you one day and so I wanted to know more about you. I asked about and learned quite a bit. I probably know more about you than you do.
Stranger: where
You: What about where?
Stranger: where did u see me
You: On the way to school. A few months ago.
Stranger: where did u see me
Stranger: in the school
You: No. On the way there.
Stranger: i cant remember
Stranger: which school
You: Your school, of course. I should be going now.
Stranger: what the name
You: I’ve just forgotten.
Stranger: lie
Stranger: i jusst sent u a e-mail
You: Unless it’s a topless photo of you, this conversation is over.
Stranger: no
Stranger: u dont know me liar
You: No I don’t. I just guessed your name.
Stranger: no isent u an e-mail
Stranger: and my name was there
You: Looks like my fun is over.
Stranger: so my face isnt bad
You: I would certainly jizz all over it.
Stranger: so u think i am pretty
You: 6/10.
Stranger: then u are
Stranger: ?
You: A high 8.
Stranger: send me a pivture lemme grade
You: http://ohijamn.com/picture/time.jpg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
i guess you could say I’m a scene girl, with the hair and all that shit, and I’m kinda geeky ( I play a lot of video games, minecraft, skyrim, and assassins creed are my favorites) will guys like me?
You: I do already.
Stranger: m or f
You: I would guess you are male.
Stranger: wat r u
Stranger: and I’m f
You: I am male, then.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: age
You: I’m only 19. Are you really 101?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: I’m lot younger than u
You: How old are you?
Stranger: …..
Stranger: 14
You: Baby.
Stranger: ??
You: Do you still wet the bed and suck your thumb?
Stranger: >:l
You: For the purposes of masturbation, can you say you do?
Stranger: omg
You: Don’t worry. I’ve already cum.
Stranger: o dear go
Stranger: god
You: I believe in God too. We should meet up. When and where?
Stranger: :;
Stranger: :l
You: You’re no fun.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: oh well
Stranger: idk u soooo
You: I guarantee you at least one orgasm.
Stranger: ok wanna kno sumthin
You: Sure thing, girlfriend.
Stranger: haha ok so ur boring me ur makin me do my work fun right
Stranger: btw where ya from
You: England. HAY?
Stranger: huh
You: How about you?
Stranger: usa
Stranger: :p
You: Unlucky.
Stranger: nope
Stranger: ur the unlucky 1
You: Nope. I’m English and male. You’re an American girl. Could God have dealt you a worse hand?
Stranger: by by
You: Bye, sweetie. Love you.
Stranger: must u say tht
Stranger: lol
You: Yes. It’s true.
Stranger: whatever u say
Stranger: btw do u hav kik
You: No. Do you?
Stranger: yup
Stranger: no i jus asked randomly/………… seriously use ur brain
Stranger: if u hav 1
You: What’s a brain?
Stranger: lmfao
Stranger: i must admit ur a pretty funny guy
You: If your “ass” has come off laughing, may I have it?
Stranger: o dear god
You: Do you like anal?
Stranger: do u like the disconnect button??
You: I’ve never had to press it.
Stranger: would u like me to do it for u
You: No. I haven’t got a signed topless photo of you yet.
Stranger: and u won’t b getting 1
You: Tease.
Stranger: …………………………….’
Stranger: i am bored and tired
You: Want to come to bed with me?
Stranger: nope im good
Stranger: i will be wit my bf (:
You: Fuck you.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: thnx
You: Threesome?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: dont u hav a gf
Stranger: i mean cmon ur 19
Stranger: or r u forever alone
You: No. I was grooming this girl but I don’t think she likes me.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ur forever alone
You: No. I used to have a girlfriend but then ended up missing but it’s OK because she was cheating on me.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok then
You: You didn’t say no to that threesome…
Stranger: …………
Stranger: ok this is random but idk way is on my tv i put a show on it ended now sum thin is on idk wat
Stranger: and i should be writing my essay right now but oh well
You: What’s your essay about?
Stranger: its religion
Stranger: i go to private school
Stranger: blah
You: Do you have to wear a nice little uniform?
Stranger: haha wow
You: Is that a yes? I’m masturbating again, by tw.
Stranger: tw meanssss
Stranger: ……………………
You: It’s short for “the way”.
Stranger: ah
You: What’s that short for?
Stranger: nuthin
Stranger: jus ahhh like i understand lol i dunno
You: What’s ET short for?
Stranger: idk
You: Because he’s only got little legs.
Stranger: lol
You: You look a bit like ET.
Stranger: u dont kno wat i even look like
Stranger: -____-
Stranger: gtg
You: Like ET.
Stranger: c ya
You: OK I love you bye bye.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: love u too
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
My scars remind me that is past is real………..
Stranger: Good
You: That’s nice.
Stranger: Why would you even write something like that?
You: I think he is gay.
Stranger: Or just a pretentious guy
Stranger: You know, the ones who type stuff like that on facebook
You: They’re gay as far as I’m concerned.
Stranger: Why do you hate gays?
You: I don’t hate gay. Why do you?
Stranger: I don’t! But you were saying something on the line of gay=stupid
Stranger: At least, that’s what i got
You: I use gay as an insult like calling someone a girl.
Stranger: Yeah, fair enough
Stranger: Didn’t they make a south park episode about something like that? I mean, calling people fags not because you’re homophobic but just as an insult
You: I don’t know. I’m not an encyclopedia.
Stranger: Maybe you knew the episode
You: I don’t know anything.
Stranger: Nobody know anything
Stranger: *knows
You: That’s deep.
Stranger: Nah, not really
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: I’m a guy
Stranger: So no, not really
You: Why not? Are you straight or something?
Stranger: Yes i am
You: Hahaha. Straight-o. Why don’t you have sex with a woman, straightboy?
Stranger: Oww
Stranger: You hurt my feelings
You: Feelings? Straights don’t have feelings.
Stranger: You mean, like gingers?
You: What have you got against gingers? You’re mean.
Stranger: I’ve got nothing against gingers, i just use it as an insult.
Stranger: Actually that isn’t even true, but whatever
You: You shouldn’t because it’s offensive.
Stranger: You don’t say.
Stranger: I actually like red hair a lot
Stranger: I never got why red-haired people get so much hate
You: Because they are disgusting.
Stranger: You sound… bipolar?
You: No. I’m straight.
Stranger: Lol, you are so straight you don’t even know what bipolar means
You: It means I like male and female polar bears. I only like fucking the females, though.
Stranger: Yeah, fucking the males probably hurts
Stranger: a lot
You: And you would know, you big gay zoophile.
Stranger: Hey, don’t insult zoophiles, ok?
Stranger: They’re people like us
You: Don’t compare me to people.
Stranger: Also, you’re the one who has sex with polar bears
You: Only once.
Stranger: That’s… a good point actually
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: Huh, clothes? It’s kinda cold, so i have a jumper on
Stranger: What are YOU wearing?
You: Pants and a dressing gown. From where are you?
Stranger: I guess you could guess.
Stranger: Not in the USA
You: Engaynd?
Stranger: I see what you did there
Stranger: But no
You: Gaynada?
Stranger: Nope.
You: Gaymany?
Stranger: Nein.
Stranger: But you’re closer
You: Yugayslavia?
Stranger: Nope, go west
You: Bellendgium?
Stranger: That’s too west and too north
Stranger: I’ll give you a hint
Stranger: In-a my spare time, I like to go rescuing-a princess! And i jump on-a strange monsters.
Stranger: And i have a bigga moustache
You: Are you sure it’s not Gaymany?
Stranger: I am
Stranger: Sure as pizza i am
You: Pizza – That’s Titaly.
Stranger: Yep.
Stranger: Titaly is actually a cool name. We should change it
Stranger: Where are you from, anyways?
You: England.
Stranger: Cool. Which part?
You: All of me.
Stranger: Don’t give me attitude, you pom
You: Youporn? What abou tit?
Stranger: I can’t make puns in english, that’s not fair.
Stranger: We should speak italian
You: Only muffs speak Titalian.
Stranger: I don’t even know what muff means. I mean, it’s not like we’re on the internet and i could look it up in like, three seconds
You: If you want to know what a muff is, look in a mirror.
Stranger: 1 a short tube made of fur or other warm material into which the hands are placed for warmth.
2 vulgar slang a woman’s genitals
Stranger: Last time i checked, i wasn’t neither a short tube or a vagina
You: You’re a vagina with a short tube.
Stranger: Or a short tube in a vagina
Stranger: which wouldn’t actually be that bad
You: You wish, virgin.
Stranger: I’ll be honest. There are worse fates than being stuck down there.
You: Homophobe.
Stranger: That doesn’t even make sense.
Stranger: Go back to drink tea.
You: I bet that would turn you on, wouldn’t it?
Stranger: Yes, i’m a teaphile
Stranger: If you were so kind to drink some tea with extra lemon, that would be an extra turn on
You: You are sick.
Stranger: You know what’s a good thing for when you’re sick? Tea.
You: Then you should have some tea, you paedophile.
Stranger: I already had.
Stranger: And what is a paedophile?
You: Someone who has sex with little kids, i.e. you.
Stranger: That would be a pedophile
You: If you spell it incorrectly, yes.
Stranger: If you wanted to really spell it correctly, then it should be Paidophilos
You: If I wanted to spell it correctly in a different language, that is.
Stranger: In a different language which is the one from where the english word came from
Stranger: Anyways, wikipedia (which, as we all know, is the most reliable source of information in the world) tells me you can spell it either way
You: Only paedophiles spell it without the “a”.
Stranger: I know, it would make more sense to spell it with the “a”
Stranger: But i’ve always seen americans spell it without the “a”, so i guess all the americans are paedophiles
You: That’s true.
Stranger: Whatever. You’re the english one.I guess what i learned here is that you shouldn’t argue about a foreign language with someone who actually speaks said language
You: You personally shouldn’t argue at all because you are always wrong.
Stranger: “Wrong” is relative.
Stranger: Therefore, you are wrong
You: You are Italian therefore you are wrong.
Stranger: You’re english, therefore your smugness makes you automatically wrong.
Stranger: And stop being so racist, or i will throw pizzas at you.
You: I’m only smug around people I’m better than, and that includes everyone from a different country.
Stranger: That’s pretty much the english stereotype. Do you also wear a monocle, by chance?
You: I wear a double monocle.
Stranger: Dear lord, you alone raise the level of britishness in the world by at least 23%
You: And the world is a better place for it.
Stranger: We could argue about that, but i don’t want to be thrown in the Tower of London
Stranger: That would be unfortunate
You: You wouldn’t go in there. We don’t like riff-raff in our towers.
Stranger: What are you going to do? Send me to India to harvest tea?
You: I’d just execute you if I had my way.
Stranger: Yeah, fair enough.
Stranger: We should fight sometimes
Stranger: And by “fight”, i mean duel
You: Aren’t you too old to be playing Yu-Gi-Oh?
Stranger: I don’t even know what Yu-Gi-Oh is, so i’ll just assume it’s some perverted english practice
You: It’s another word for sex. If a kid says they want to play Yu-Gi-Oh with you, they want to have sex with you so do it.
Stranger: I’m sorry, but nobody would be so retarded to use that euphemism outside of england.
Stranger: Dinner calls anyways. It’s a shame, this conversation was racistly interesting.
You: OK. Bye. Good luck with your legs.
Stranger: I actually didn’t get this one. I’m sure it’s some kind of paedophile or italian-related joke, so fuck you.
You: I was just hoping your legs are well in the future. No need to be rude about it.
Technical error: server disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
what do you think about the french army ?
Stranger: Um…
You: I like baguettes so thanks to them.
Stranger: I guess I’m pretty cool with them.
You: What is your favourite army?
Stranger: SAS, British all the way.
You: You’re British? That means you like tea and are a bender.
Stranger: Actually neither of those are true
You: Maybe not the tea one but you’re definitely bent.
Stranger: Also, I’m technically Northern Irish.
Stranger: And since when we’re the British all bent?
You: Since you started bumming each other.
Stranger: Are you American?
You: No.
Stranger: What then?
You: British.
Stranger: Why would you slag off your own people?
You: I was just hoping to find someone with similar interests to me.
Stranger: Then go onto normal chat and label Britain, UK, or GB as an interest.
Stranger: Or all three.
You: My interests are actually tea and being gay.
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: Thats… Interesting
Stranger: You are gay?
You: No. I’m just seeing if it’s right for me. Have you ever been gay?
Stranger: No. To be honest Im kind of asexual right now.
You: Asexual predator?
Stranger: Um… No. Just asexual. I have no interest in a relationship at all whatsoever right now.
You: That’s not being asexual. If you found the right man, woman or beast, I’m sure you would date them.
Stranger: One moment
You: Time’s up.
Stranger: Ok
Stranger: I was just done anyways.
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: …Shorts and a t shirt. Why?
You: No reason. I’m not masturbating.
Stranger: Um… You’re kind of getting just a little off topic.
Stranger: How did we get from the French army to what I’m wearing?
You: You should know. You were there when the topic changed.
Stranger: Let me just get a quick flow chart going
Stranger: French Army.
Stranger: SAS.
Stranger: Britain.
Stranger: Tea.
Stranger: Being gay.
Stranger: My sexuality.
Stranger: My current clothing.
Stranger: Based on that, you’ll soon be asking what I look like and my address.
You: No I won’t. What do you look like and your address?
Stranger: My point exactly.
Stranger: I have brown hair, brown eyes and a brown frown. I live on 1234 Street Street.
Stranger: If you have any form of Intelligence Quotient above 60, you’ll realise this personal information is false.
You: Oh. I thought we had bonded.
Stranger: Good to know.
You: Do you like bondage?
Stranger: It depends on your exact meaning by ‘bondage’.
You: Being tied up while having a dick in your cunt.
Stranger: I’ll have you know that I am not a girl.
Stranger: Therefore, your statement is physically impossible.
You: But I’ve been masturbating for about five minutes now. That must mean I’m gay.
Stranger: Rule #1 of using Omegle: Always question the other person’s gender before bringing up any topic related to sex.
You: Can you pretend you’re female so this isn’t weird?
Stranger: I don’t want to suffer from an accidental identity crisis.
You: Is it alright if I pretend I’m a woman, then?
Stranger: To be honest, Id rather just stop talking about sex, if that’s alright with you.
You: But I haven’t had an orgasm yet. My pussy is dripping wet waiting for you, big boy.
Stranger: Okay, now you aren’t making any sense at all.
You: I’ve got a good job so I make pounds, not cents.
Stranger: European cents or American cents?
You: Neither.
Stranger: Wait… Oh, I get it.
Stranger: It doesn’t make SENSE at all now, because we use pennies.
You: Who’s Penny? And what of hers are you using?
Stranger: Penny from The Big Bang Theory. Who else?
Stranger: Ive been feeling rather uncomfortable for the last ten minutes, so I will be going in 30 seconds.
Stranger: It was… Interesting talking to you.
Stranger: 10
You: OK I love you bye bye.
Stranger: 9
Stranger: 8
Stranger: 7
Stranger: 6
Stranger: 5
Stranger: 4
Stranger: 3
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 1
You: Blastoff.
Stranger: 0
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
who are you?
You: I am the Lord of the Dance Settee.
Stranger: I am myself.
Stranger: at least I think I am
Stranger: I could be someone else though
Stranger: how am I to know?
You: Are you on drugs?
Stranger: how am I to know anything in life?
Stranger: perhaps there is a deeper moral undertone to his question that speaks to the ambiguistic nature of our being
You: There isn’t.
Stranger: or maybe its just this weed mannnnnn >.>
Stranger: no
Stranger: I don’t do drugs
Stranger: and I was bullshitting because I’m bored and tired
Stranger: and hallucinating now… :/
Stranger: I should sleep more
You: I have a bed we can share.
Stranger: that’s why I don’t do drugs ^.^ afraid they’ll trigger schizophrenia.
Stranger: terribly afraid..
You: Drugs aren’t cool anyway.
Stranger: I already have a boyfriend thank you.
You: Threesome?
Stranger: if you’re into guys >.>
You: Any hole’s a hole.
Stranger: not bad logic
You: So are you a gay man?
Stranger: yes
You: Haha. You are gay.
Stranger: yeahhh
Stranger: and you’re not very funny
You: No, but you are. Being gay is funny.
Stranger: how?
You: Because you are gay.
Stranger: you have to give a better reason than that honey…
You: Have you ever been called a gaylord?
Stranger: you’re an immature one aren’t you?
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 19. I just wondered if you would think gaylord is offensive or just childish.
Stranger: childish and idiotic
Stranger: think up some better insults
You: Do you mind that people use gay as an insult?
Stranger: eh
Stranger: not bothered by it
Stranger: put up with it for so long I don’t notice it
You: Do you actually do that thing where you touch your dick onto your boyfriend’s dick?
Stranger: you…
Stranger: you’re…
Stranger: you’re not well educated are you?
Stranger: I bet you’re still a virgin XP
You: I’ve never been buggered, if that’s what you mean. Do you engage in frottage or not?
Stranger: sure why not
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 18
You: From where are you?
Stranger: merikuh
You: Do you mean Morocco?
Stranger: …
Stranger: the US
Stranger: murricuh?
You: So are you from America or Morocco?
Stranger: merikuh and murricuh are both corruptions of the word America you twat..
You: I’m not a twat, but what does it mean?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Thoughts on Nova Scotia?
You: None whatsoever.
Stranger: Whats that?
You: What’s what?
Stranger: Nova Scotia
You: It’s a country in Canada. It means “New Scooter”.
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: Canada is a country dumbass
You: You don’t even know where New Scooter is so I’m not going to listen to you.
Stranger: Ok well ok im just sayin
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Do you support gays?
Stranger: Sure.
You: If they are above me in a human pyramid.
Stranger: There’s a human pyramid?
You: In San Fransisco. It’s what that lot do.
Stranger: OK…
You: I don’t like gays.
Stranger: OK.
You: You’re meant to discuss with me.
Stranger: If you find out your best friend is gay, you may change your opinion.
Stranger: Turns out they’re NORMAL PEOPLE. Gasp. What a concept.
You: They’re not normal. Have you seen what they do?
Stranger: Have you seen what some straight guys do?
You: It’s OK because it’s with women, though.
Stranger: I’d rather have a best gay friend who’s been awesome all these years I’ve known him, than a dick straight friend.
You: You can’t have a gay friend without him trying to bum you in your sleep. That’s what they do.
Stranger: Nope, they’re not horny dogs in heat. >_>
You: No, because dogs aren’t gay. Being gay is not natural.
Stranger: My friend, homosexuality is confirmed in 480 species (including dogs).
You: That test was probably conducted by gay men buggering the dogs to see if they like it.
Stranger: Homophobia exists only in 1.
Stranger: What seems unnatural now?
You: Gays are still unnatural because God said so.
Stranger: Don’t give me that bullshit. So God made people that he hates?
Stranger: Is that so?
You: Gays are not people.
Stranger: Now you’re being rude and illogical.
You: Gays are like wild animals who should either be in cages or shot.
Stranger: Why, exactly?
You: Because they are gay.
Stranger: And how does the fact that they’re gay affect you?
You: I don’t feel safe with them about.
Stranger: Fun fact: 10% of people are gay. Better watch your step. Your boss could be gay. One of your friends could be gay.
You: If they are I will beat them up.
Stranger: They’ll catch you in your sleep and impregnate you with gay babies.
You: Can they do that?
Stranger: Of course. You mean to tell me you’ve never seen a male giving birth to a gay child?
You: I’ve seen a man with a baby hanging out his arse, but I assumed it was just some weird gay ritual.
Stranger: OK, we’re just screwing with each other.
You: I wish we were screwing each other.
Stranger: …
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: Are you trying to squick me now?
You: Yep. I want to squick you hard.
Technical error: Server was unreachable for too long and your connection was lost. Sorry. :( Omegle understands if you hate it now, but Omegle still loves you.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Do you think girls who wear glasses are less attractive?`
You: No.
Stranger: im a girl
You: Do you wear glasses?
Stranger: and i don’t think that guys with glasses look less attractive
Stranger: no i don’t wear glasses
Stranger: some people look good in glasses and some people just… don’t
Stranger: it all depends
You: I bet you would look good with or without glasses.
Stranger: haha thanks
Stranger: whoever i have perfect vision
Stranger: so we’ll never know
You: I had perfect vision but too much Xbox and masturbation meant I now need glasses.
Stranger: lol
You: From where are you?
Stranger: canada
Stranger: you?
You: England.
Stranger: sweet
Stranger: age?
You: 19. How about you?
Stranger: 17
You: Baby.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: it’s only 2 years apart
You: 2 years is a long time. Think of how many shoes you could buy in 2 years.
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: well i’m turning 18 soon
You: Are you having strippers at your party? Can I come?
Stranger: unfortunately no strippers
Stranger: and if there were any they’d be male
Stranger: so unless you’re gay…
You: I was hoping I could have been one of them.
Stranger: haha
You: I have a lot of experience exposing my genitals to 18-year-old girls.
Stranger: nah strippers are gonna be at my bachelorette party
Stranger: haha
Stranger: i’m sure you do
You: You should get married.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: nah that means that after that bachelorette party i’m not free to party and have fun anymore
Stranger: so not happening anytime soon
You: Don’t worry. I’ll let you still have fun.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: as in you’ll be my husband and you’ll let me have fun or i’ll be cheating on my husband with you?
You: I meant the first one, but either way I’ll get to have sex with you so I don’t mind.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: if i got married to someone i meet on this site my dad would kill both of us
You: Not if I kill him first. Would you like that, sweetie?
Stranger: haha no…
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Discuss anime, no restrictions!
Stranger: i love anime :D
You: Yeah. Family Guy is sometimes good.
Stranger: i wouldnt say family guy is an anime exactly :p
You: You think they’re real people?
Stranger: no, but its like saying ed, edd and eddy is an anime, it can be described more as a cartoon
You: Anime means cartoon.
Stranger: animation actually
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Chimicherry or Cherrychanga?
Stranger: what?
You: They are Pokémon.
Stranger: ahh, well sorry dont know any more than the first 150 or so
Stranger: or maybe the ones after that, in silver & gold
You: Do you know Bulbasaur?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: squirtle
Stranger: charmander
You: Do you know Ivysaur?
Stranger: yep, and venosaur
You: Do you know Wartortle?
Stranger: and blastois
Stranger: e
Stranger: and charmeleon
Stranger: and charizard
Stranger: do we have to continue?
You: Do you Caterpie?
Stranger: yep
You: Do you know Metapod?
Stranger: and butterfly
Stranger: yes
You: Do you know Butterfree?
Stranger: my bad
You: Do you know Weedle?
Stranger: now I am embarrassed
You: Do you know Kakuna?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes
You: Do you know Beedrill?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: this is fun
You: Do you know Okapi?
Stranger: :)
Stranger: no
You: Noob.
Stranger: sorry
You: Do you know hagfish?
Stranger: you should be proud of your pokemon skills
Stranger: no, but it sounds like a pokemon you would wanna be
You: Do you know Quagga>
Stranger: no, I feel you are more of a magikarp
Stranger: yeah
You: Do you know Oryx?
Stranger: no
You: Do you know Capybara?
Stranger: no
You: Do you know Squarepusher?
Stranger: squarepusher?
Stranger: seriously?
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: thank god, no
You: Do you know the Muffinman?
Stranger: ye
Stranger: s
Stranger: muffinman ftw
Stranger: do you know the muffinman?
You: I know the Muffinman and where he lives.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: ;)
You: Do you want to see a picture of my cock?
Stranger: totally
You: Gaylord.
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: You dont like gay people?
You: I don’t like gay people trying to bum me.
Stranger: let me guess, you are what?
Stranger: 14?
Stranger: uhhh, I hit the nail, spot on didnt I?
You: Not all homophones are kids.
Stranger: maybe not, but most kids are immature
Stranger: and few adults are immature
Stranger: if you are an adult, I pity you even more
You: You’re immature and you’re a bender.
Stranger: I am so sorry
Stranger: If you believe in God, you should complain
You: I’d rather be me than bent.
Stranger: Bent is a good football player
Stranger: I like him
Stranger: why dont you?
You: You fancy him.
Stranger: I like him as a football player, yes.
You: You want to play with his balls and have him shoot into your net.
Stranger: I am not a homosexual, just to make that clear
You: You are.
Stranger: but judging by your obsession with homosexuals, I would say that you are.
Stranger: good for you
You: Fuck you.
Stranger: you should tell your parents
You: I’m not gay, you gay.
Stranger: Im sure they will support you
Stranger: no, I dont like you in that way
Stranger: you have to look for someone else
Stranger: sorry
You: Do you get off calling other people gay? Does that turn you on?
Stranger: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Stranger: it is soooo funny, coming from you
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: man, I like your humour
Stranger: maybe if I was gay, we could be together
Stranger: sadly, I am not
Stranger: :/
You: You are and I’m not. Shut up.
Stranger: If I am quiet, what is the point of staying in this conversation
Stranger: I am sorry if I offended you by commenting on your sexual orientation
Stranger: it was immature of me
You: Yeah. Grow up, poofter.
Stranger: do you forgive me?
You: No.
Stranger: well, I forgive you
Stranger: still wanna be friends?
You: No. You’ll probably try to bum me in my sleep.
Stranger: here we go again
Stranger: Are you in denial or something?
Stranger: cause I think you should try to express your true feelings
Stranger: and it is a perfect moment to do so, to me
You: I have never been in Daniel in my life, you queer.
Stranger: I am listening
You: Sorry. I have dyslexia.
Stranger: let it all out
You: Just leave it. I’m not gay.
Stranger: well, you are the one who keeps coming back to the subject.
You: Only because you are so gay
Stranger: I think there is something you are not telling me
Stranger: right, you want me to be gay so you dont feel alone? is that it?
Stranger: I am trying to help here
You: You only want me to admit I’m gay so you can rape me.
Stranger: over omegle?
Stranger: I dont think that is possible
You: You’ll hunt me down.
Stranger: wow, do you have dreams about me or something?
Stranger: cause this is getting a bit weird
You: It was weird since you started putting your willy in men’s bottoms.
Stranger: I mean, you just cant stop thinking about gay sexual acts, can you? I would say that you are trying to deny your own sexual orientation
Stranger: and I am offering to counsel you
Stranger: for free
Stranger: right now
Stranger: you are welcome
You: Why don’t you stop masturbating? I’m not going to tell you I’m gay for you.
Stranger: okay, I understand. Do you watch gay porn sometimes? or imagine such acts?
Stranger: like you have described several times above?
You: No so shut up.
Stranger: well, we know the truth about it, read above please
Stranger: so “yes” to the first question
Stranger: do you go online to make let out your anger on other people?
You: I’ve only ever seen gay porn once and I got a boner thinking about a lady at the time so it doesn’t count.
Stranger: I think you have to look up the term gay porn! There are only guys there, so the “lady” was probably a dressed up guy. I am sorry
Stranger: and please answer the other question
You: I only imagine such acts when I think about what I would do to the men having sex.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: I understand
You: I mean I would beat them up. I wouldn’t join in.
Stranger: So, you would say, that you hate homosexual people so much, you want to beat them up?
You: Yes. I want to pound you.
Stranger: Do you imagine this scenario a lot?
Stranger: “pound” as in have sex with?
You: No. I want to beat you off.
You: I mean up.
Stranger: As I said before, I am not a homosexual, sorry
Stranger: “beat me off” as in give me a handjob?
You: I said beat you up.
Stranger: all these terms have multiple meanings
Stranger: and I dont think that it is a coincidence
Stranger: I think you have to accept who you really are
Stranger: people will like you anyway
Stranger: :)
You: I’m not gay. I didn’t even like it.
Stranger: Okay, I believe you! You are whatever you want to be
Stranger: Bisexuality, is also a possibility
You: No. I am straight as a bow.
Stranger: I am just putting that out there
You: I mean arrow.
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: not a coincidence, I would say
Stranger: but it doesnt matter
You: You’re just making me say this stuff.
Stranger: I am making you say “I want to pound you”?, “I am straight as a bow”?
Stranger: hahahahaha
You: You are tricking me.
Stranger: makes me laugh
Stranger: I am sorry, I didnt mean to
Stranger: I just want you to tell me how you feel
Stranger: I am a stranger, that wants to help you
You: I love women.
Stranger: because I am a nice guy
You: You are a gay guy.
Stranger: here we go again
Stranger: you cant let go of the thought of people and their sexual orientation
Stranger: I think, as previously stated, that is a clear sign
You: I am straight. I have hardly had sex with any men and I didn’t enjoy it.
Stranger: hahahahaha
Stranger: you are really pulling my leg. too funny, though :) :)
You: I’m not pulling anything of yours.
Stranger: you are funny ;)’
You: Stop trying to chat me up, bender.
Stranger: allow me to quote you further “I am straight as a bow”, “I have hardly had sex with any men”, “I want to pound you”, “I want to beat you off”
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: thought it was an honest mistake in the beginning
You: Just stop. I’m gay and you are.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: :)
Stranger: another “honest” mistake?
You: Your gay is rubbing off on me. Stop being gay.
Stranger: I will, for you
You: Do it for yourself.
Stranger: I will
Stranger: Could you tell me where the muffinman lives?
You: Drury Lane.
You: Do you know Togepi?
Stranger: yes
You: Do you know Togekiss?
Stranger: no, or maybe
You: Do you know Totodile?
Stranger: yes
You: Do you know sunfish?
Stranger: maybe
Stranger: I dunno
You: Do you know alpaca?
Stranger: isnt that an animal?
You: No, gay. It’s a Pokémon.
Stranger: you really are a troll
Stranger: well, then not a very original name
You: I’m only wasting my own time, really.
Stranger: arnt we all?
Stranger: cause thats what omegle is for
You: You should get a life.
Stranger: you should too
You: I’m well beyond that.
Stranger: you are dead?
Stranger: cause that would be pretty cool
You: I may as well be.
Stranger: I get it, you are depressed
Stranger: like most people here
Stranger: how original
You: I’m not depressed or gay.
Stranger: you said you “may as well be” dead
Stranger: I would classify that as “depressed”
Stranger: or something similar
You: I meant to say “I’m a yaswellbee.”
You: Yaswelbee is a Pokémon.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: well you are funny at least
Stranger: I like it
You: If only I was gay.
Stranger: you want to be gay?
You: If I was, I wouldn’t mind giving you a bum.
Stranger: thank you?
You: I knew you were gay.
Stranger: I didnt say I wass
You: You just got turned on when I said I wanted to bum you.
Stranger: not really, but you probably did
Stranger: you said you “wouldnt mind giving you a bum”
You: If I was gay, which I’m not.
Stranger: gay sexual feelings
Stranger: me neither
Stranger: so, now we have that out of the way
Stranger: wanna play rock, paper scissors?
You: I bet you’d rather play cock, raper, jizzers.
Stranger: I knew it
You: You knew you were gay.
Stranger: this is getting a bit boring, now
You: Yep. Go now please.
Stranger: why dont you?
Stranger: cause you have feelings for me?
You: I don’t want to turn my back on you.
Stranger: right, enough with the sexual references
You: Stop being gay and I’ll stop.
Stranger: say the word
You: Mum.
Stranger: say muffinman
Stranger: say it
You: Why? Does that turn you on?
Stranger: Say it
Stranger: yes, say it
You: No.
Stranger: say it, and Ill leave
You: Muffinman, now fuck off.
Stranger: good bye, I hope omegle cures your boredom
Stranger: all the best
You: Thanks. Bye, gay.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Best place in the world to live in your opinion?
Stranger: canada
You: I could never live in my opinion.
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You and the stranger both like tits.
You: Hello.
Stranger: m
Stranger: hi
You: Nice to meet you.
Stranger: m f ?
You: I’m certainly no motherfucker.
Stranger: female then ?
You: Female then male, in order of preference.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You and the stranger both like tits.
Stranger: m
You: Hello.
Stranger: hi
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: all my clothes atm hbu
You: Some jeans and a shirt with pink on it.
Stranger: cool hmm bra size/
You: I don’t like wearing a bra.
Stranger: kik?
You: That must be a pretty big bra size.
Stranger: exchange pics?
You: You seem a bit creepy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I’m not female.
Stranger: me too
You: Can you pretend to be female?
Stranger: hm. that’s interesting. lol maybe I can
Stranger: how old are you first?
You: 19 years young. You?
Stranger: 21…
Stranger: so, why exactly do you want me to be a girl?
You: I’m horny. Can you also pretend to be 4?
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: dude… cm on man? 4?
Stranger: if you’d said 14, i’d be marginally ok with that.. :S
You: It’s not sick or anything because you’re 21 so it’s fine. Please.
Stranger: this is going to be interesting…
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok… so i’m 4
You: And you’ve just woken up tied to a table. You’re not naked yet.
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: what the… who are you and i begin crying… as i can’t move
You: I’m your new Daddy.
Stranger: but but… i want my old daddy
You: He is on holiday. SD: I get out a knife.
Stranger: i scream!
You: Don’t worry, this will be over before you know it. SD: I slit the little beauty’s throat.
Stranger: =.=” this is worse than i imagined
You: Death isn’t so bad, sweetie. SD: You can no longer speak because of all the blood in your throat. You are slowly dying.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: I’m not female.
Stranger: im not male
Stranger: *I’m
You: That means you must be female. Am I right?
Stranger: yeah that means you must be male?
Stranger: am i right?
You: Well done. You’re quite clever for a girl.
Stranger: :) haha do you got twitter?
You: I haven’t got anything to say, so no.
Stranger: Oh what you name?
You: Lydon. Yours?
Stranger: Jenn
Stranger: cool name bro
You: I’d say thanks, but I didn’t come up with it.
Stranger: :) Haha your funny!
You: I do my best. From where are you, Jenn?
Stranger: hold on i can’t read while i am singer
You: I’m guessing somewhere where English is not your first language?
Stranger: no i speek english?
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 19. How old are you?
Stranger: 18
You: So from what country are you?
Stranger: London England
You: I used to live there. Whereabouts?
Stranger: Doncaster
You: Are you originally from England?
Stranger: yeah
You: OK. What do you like doing, Jenn?
Stranger: Singing i am going to be famoud one day!
Stranger: *famous
You: Good luck with that. Do you have any videos of you singing on YouTube or something?
Stranger: no but i will soon later sometime but im not aloud to shouw my face so i will have to like draw a picture and hold it infromt of the camra! :) but i have to go but i will never be able to talk to you again do you have email?
You: lapearsall@googlemail.com. Why can’t you show your face?
Stranger: my mom doesnt want me to and i think it is safeer
You: You’re a big girl now, though.
Stranger: I know but i think i is safer! well i gtg i will email you later and isent it “Gmail” not google mail?
You: Either is fine. Bye, sexy.
Stranger: bye i guess
You: You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.
Stranger: can you not call me sexy i have a boyfriend!
You: I’ll call you what I want.
Stranger: My boyfriend is with me and i am not going to email you anymore by!!!
You: That’s fine. Bye, sexy.
Stranger: my boyfriend wants to talk to you
You: Hey, mate.
Stranger: Get away from my girlfriend i love her she is the best thing ever and if she askes you to stop calling her sexy stop she is way better than you can ever amagen!
You: Really? I can amagen some pretty imazing and coherent women. Sorry, sexy. I won’t call her that, then.
Stranger: You want a peace of this!!!!1
You: Calm down, babe. I’m not looking for trouble.
Stranger: I gtg go hopefully i will never ever talk to you sgain and i am defently not email you and either is my girlfriend!!
Stranger: *again
You: OK. Bye. Tell her I think she’s sexy.
Stranger: Fuck you go away you ugly beast!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 19. Male. England.
Stranger: 18 girl california
You: You are so young.
Stranger: Ur 19
You: I know. I am old compared to you, little girl.
Stranger: Haha ur old motherfucker
You: I know. How many men you had in your ass at once?
Stranger: Fuck u
You: I was only asking, babe.
Stranger: Dont call me that u asshole
You: Sorry, sweetie. Why not?
Stranger: Pervert
You: Why are you being so mean to me?
Stranger: Haha I’m going to post this on instagram
You: Why? So everyone can see how mean you are?
Stranger: Bitch
You: You’re just messing with me now. You fancy me.
Stranger: What the fuck is wrong with u I don’t know ur crazy ass
You: But you still fancy me. I can tell.
Stranger: What the hell is wrong with u
Stranger: I don’t like u
You: Nothing. I’m fine, thanks for asking. How are you? Why do you not like me?
Stranger: I ain’t telling u shit pervert
You: I’m not a shit pervert. Maybe piss, but not shit.
Stranger: U lucky I don’t know u I would the police on yo ass
Stranger: U retarted I said I ain’t telling you shit
You: Is all this making your horny?
Stranger: Then I called u a pervert
Stranger: Im going to take a pic of this and I’m going to show my dad
You: Threesome?
Stranger: Cause he is a police officer
Stranger: I hope u die in a hole and go to hell
Stranger: Done showed my dad and he called the police
Stranger: Haha asshole
You: Why did he call the police if he is the police?
Stranger: Because he is on vacation u idiot
Stranger: Goodbye bitch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: I didn’t even ask, retard
You: I know. Are you retarded?
Stranger: Nah but I sometimes wish I were
Stranger: Its troubling
You: You are very brave.
Stranger: Thank you
You: I don’t know how I would cope if I was like you,
Stranger: As are you for announcing your gender like tgat
Stranger: I get along just fine
You: Do you ever try to microwave spoons or stuff like that?
Stranger: What. No I’m not stupid. Once I put in a pizza with a bit of foil on it though
Stranger: It fucked up my pizza pretty bad
You: I wouldn’t mind fucking up your pizza.
Stranger: I’m sure
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Hahaha
Stranger: Im from the u.s.
Stranger: Yourself?
You: England. What’s so funny?
Stranger: Just the phrasing
You: I wish I could be entertained as easily as you.
Stranger: Im at work, a string could entertain me
You: Why aren’t you doing work?
Stranger: I’m a fast worker. I take frequent breaks
You: Are you a miner?
Stranger: I don’t want to finish it all and be stuck doing this the whole rest of the day
Stranger: Nope, I’m old
You: No. I mean the kind of bird.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: No actually
You: What’s your job?
Stranger: I work in an office as an intern
You: Why don’t you get a proper job?
Stranger: Because the job market in California is screwed up
Stranger: So I’m stuck until I can get something better
Stranger: How old are you?
You: I am 19 years young. How old are you?
Stranger: I’m 23 years old
You: I didn’t even know people went that old.
Stranger: Went where?
You: I just didn’t realise age went up that high.
Stranger: Ah, well
Stranger: Are you sure you aren’t touched in the head?
Stranger: Whatd you think would happen to you in four years?
You: I’ll be 19 obviously. I’m 19. Age doesn’t change just because time does.
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: Well in that case I’m probably around 17
Stranger: Still trolling the Internet and whatnot
You: Got a husband yet?
Stranger: Nope. Do you?
You: Not yet.
Stranger: Want to get married? It seems we both need husbands
Stranger: If the shoe fits
You: I think your shoe might be a bit loose compared to my foot.
Stranger: Hrrrm maybe
Stranger: But you don’t really know until you’ve tried it on
You: Don’t be a creep. I don’t want to have sex with you.
Stranger: Hey hey hey
Stranger: No o e said anything about sex
Stranger: No one*
Stranger: It was a metaphore
You: A metaphor for sex. Don’t play dumb with me, you slut.
Stranger: Ugh
Stranger: Thats the second time I’ve been called a slut today
Stranger: The first was because I refused to accept a doctor who joke
You: Knock knock.
Stranger: Fuck
Stranger: Was it you?
You: I’m knocking again.
Stranger: Whos there
You: Doctor.
Stranger: Ugh, doctore who?
You: Yep. You’re right. Can I come in and check your testicles for lumps?
Stranger: Was it worth it?
Stranger: Typing all that out
You: Yes. It was especially difficult because I was doing it just left-handed.
Stranger: Why was that necessary?
You: The though of feeling your hanging gardens got me going.
Stranger: Hahaha
Stranger: Im sorry my gardens don’t hang very low
Stranger: Give them a good 25 years and I’m sure they’ll be good enough
You: Are they tight against your trunk?
Stranger: Well not really
Stranger: But
Stranger: Ive got great fertilizer
Stranger: Very rich
Stranger: Theres a silver lining
You: You’re being creepy again. Stop it.
Stranger: Ok sorry I’ll try
Stranger: But you’re walking right into it
You: Do you cum a lot then?
Stranger: Woah woah now who’s being creepy
You: Still you, because you’re a paedophile.
Stranger: That’s impossible
Stranger: Because I’m 12
You: That would explain your tight nut sack. Ever seen a grown man naked, little boy?
Stranger: Yeah. I’d rather not talk about it thank you very much
You: I don’t want to talk about it either; I think it’s weird for a 23-year-old to get sexually aroused by pretending to be a 12-year-old.
Stranger: Is it? Damn, then I’d better quit while I’m ahead
Stranger: But it’s also creepy to be 19 forever
Stranger: Not creepy, shitty. That’s gotta suck
You: It’s even creepier when you consider I’m naked.
Stranger: Im used to that
You: I don’t want to know.
Stranger: Youd be surprised to know how many 19 year olds like preteens
You: There’s just something about a 4-year-old’s body that I can’t help masturbate over.
Stranger: Is it the taut skin?
You: It think it’s mainly the pussy.
Stranger: Oh I’m sorry I thought we were talking about boys
Stranger: Im not gay, just trying to telate
You: No, you sicko.
Stranger: Relate
You: I’m not gay either. That’s just weird.
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: Perhaps we should change the subject before it gets weirder
Stranger: Unless you want it to
You: No, you nonce.
Stranger: No you do want it weird?
You: No.
Stranger: We can do that yeah
Stranger: You ever eat yogurt and lit it dribble down your chin?
Stranger: Then have a guy slap his cock against it?
Stranger: Splat
You: I’ve done that with jelly.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
r u horny???
You: No.
Stranger: No
Stranger: Spy ur a perv
You: What will it take to get you in the mood?
Stranger: What mood
You: The mood for looooove.
Stranger: U can go suck ur own dick
You: Calm down, love. I didn’t know you were a lesbian.
Stranger: U fucking suck
Stranger: I am a straight 12 year old man
Stranger: Deal with it
You: You are a little gay boy. Ever sucked a cock?
Stranger: No
You: Fancy giving it a try?
Stranger: No
You: Don’t be frigid.
Stranger: Fuck yourself
Stranger: Douche
You: I’d rather fuck you, cutie-pie.
Stranger: Ok then u perv
Stranger: Go join spy
You: Are you suggesting a threesome?
Stranger: If u and spy are girls yes
You: Ever had sex before, little guy?
Stranger: No
You: Virgin. I’ve had loads of sex.
Stranger: Cool story bro needs more dragons
You: Come back when you’ve got some pubes, kid.
Stranger: Im back bitch
Stranger: Are u just mad cause ur in ur period
You: I’m not mad. You’re the one acting like a child.
Stranger: I am a child bitch
You: Can you be my child bitch?
Stranger: Ill kill u
Stranger: And u will burn in the fires of hell
You: Maybe if we play Call of Duty you’ll kill me, but in the real world, you’d just cry like a little baby.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Are you a virgin?
Stranger: yup
You: Hahaha. Virgin.
Stranger: lol
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: Not gay
You: Then why have you never had sex with a lady?
Stranger: Iunno
You: You need to leave the house.
Stranger: Probably, yeah, but I won’t
You: Do you want me to have sex with you?
Stranger: If you’re a lady, sure
You: Don’t be so picky.
Stranger: ._.
Stranger: but I have to be
You: Why?
Stranger: Because if I’m not picky I’ll take every shit I can get, which isn’t good in any way
You: Only a virgin would say that.
Stranger: Sure
You: Have you ever had a wank?
Stranger: No, what’s a wank?
You: Don’t act all innocent with me, you little whore.
Stranger: Aww, you
Stranger: are mean
You: You know you like it.
Stranger: Not really
You: You’d love me to fuck you.
Stranger: Let me put it this way, if I wanted you to fuck me, would I do this?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I then had a knock at my door and then he knocked to me the floor, flipped me over and bummed me, so I think he wants to fuck me.

You: Hello. I’m not a woman who wants to have sex with you.
Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: how are you?
You: Not bad. You?
Stranger: good. asl?
You: 19. Male. England.
Stranger: 17 f ireland
You: Do you like jokes?
Stranger: sure why not
You: That’s a shame because I don’t know any.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.