Omegle

Question to discuss:
why do grown-ass men love my little pony?!
Stranger: Cos they’re cool
You: Because you have a nice pony?
Stranger: Yeah, that too
You: Do you like ponies?
Stranger: No
Stranger: I like Llamas though
You: What is that? Is it like a cow?
Stranger: No, they’re like a Horse, but they have long necks, they spit at people and they’re awesome
You: You’re thinking of camels.
Stranger: No, Camels have humps
Stranger: Llamas don’t
You: Lamas would get humps
You: if I had my way.
Stranger: *Llamas
You: Are they Welsh?
Stranger: No
You: *Lamas, then.
Stranger: *Llamas
You: Are you actually a massive fucking idiot?
Stranger: Better question… Are you?
You: I know how to spell lama.
Stranger: Its Llama
You: Do I look like I have mug written across my forehead? It’s lama.
Stranger: No, its Llama
You: Are you one years old? Do you not understand simple words?
Stranger: Oh, I understand perfectly
You: You just can’t spell them.
Stranger: I’m just finding it hard, because you’re so ignorant
You: At least I know what a lama is.
Stranger: Its a Llama
Stranger: And evidently, you have the knowledge of a spoon
You: Of course I have that knowledge. Everyone knows what a spoon does.
Stranger: And, yet, a smart guy like you, must surely know about Llamas
You: The word is “lama” you big ninny.
Stranger: No, I think you’ll find, its Llama
You: Yeah. Of course it is, fucking idiot.
Stranger: Google it
Stranger: Moron
You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lama Now who is the moron?
Stranger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llama
Stranger: Moron
You: You just changed the link.
Stranger: I know what a Lama is
Stranger: Check it
You: A Lama is a man who looks like a horse with a long neck who spits at people. Don’t you even know that yet?
Stranger: No, a Lama is a spiritual leader
You: A word can have two meaning, dicktwin.
Stranger: A Llama is a ” is a South American camelid, widely used as a meat and pack animal by Andean cultures since pre-Hispanic times.”
You: You just made that up.
Stranger: Check the link dingus
You: You changed the page on Wikipedia and just copied the image of an alapaca to the page.
Stranger: You do realise, thats impossible to do, in the time we’ve been talking?
You: Not if you had a picture of an alapaca saved on your desktop like a pervert.
Stranger: I can clearly see you are an uneducated fool
You: You must have turned your screen off so it is acting like a mirror.
Stranger: I’m sorry, you must have me mistaken for a Neanderthal… Sorry, I’m not related to you…
You: I’m not even from the Netherlands.
Stranger: They’re Dutch you moron
You: Lamas aren’t Dutch. They’re from South America.
Stranger: Llamas are from South America
Stranger: Lamas come from Tibet
You: I think you’re getting a bit confused.
Stranger: No, I think I know exactly whats going on
You: What’s that then, you big muff?
Stranger: That you have no knowledge of anything outside of your cave, and you like displaying your foolishness
You: At least I can afford a cave. You can’t even afford how to spell lama.
Stranger: Oh, you know, I didn’t know they had to pay for words on Gondwanaland
You: It’s called Venice. Not Gondolaland.
Stranger: How convenient… Monkey knows words
You: I know words like lama. Words that you don’t know.
Stranger: I get the impression, that I know more than you ever will
You: I know at least 100 hundred words. So I am more good than you.
Stranger: Clearly
You: So you admit you are a big fool?
Stranger: No, I admit that you’re stupidity is rather hilarious
You: It really is.
Stranger: I must admit, it has given me a rather good chuckle
You: What’s a chuckle?
You: Is it like a boner?
Stranger: Another word for laugh
You: Oh right.
Stranger: So, before I leave you to stew in your own juices, I’ll say this… Pick up a book, or something once in a while, and do try not to cut yourself on the pages… I’d had to think I led a silly person like you to hurt themselves
You: OK. Thanks. Good luck with your legs.
Stranger: Yes, my legs and I shall now depart… Goodbye Uneducated rabble
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: hey :)
You: Hello.
Stranger: inferior!
Stranger: hi
You: I’m sorry to hear that.
Stranger: haha fuck u
You: Hit a nerve, have I?
Stranger: How old are u anyways?
You: 18 years young. You?
Stranger: 16 years old
You: Sooooo cute.
Stranger: you’re not
Stranger: you’re just old
You: I’m young and full of energy.
Stranger: I’m younger and have all the energy in the world
You: You can go on top, then.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: wow, illegal
You: Not if you came here.
Stranger: where is here?
You: England please.
Stranger: australias kinda far away bro
You: Don’t be frigid.
Stranger: and yeah, it’s still illegal
Stranger: in england
Stranger: duhhhhhh
You: I don’t know the laws where I live. Thanks for telling me.
Stranger: you should learn them, go to college
You: Can I learn sarcasm in college?
Stranger: hmmmm
Stranger: i have no idea what to say to that
You: Cat got your tongue?
Stranger: ohhhh you were being sarcastic
Stranger: i thought you were just an idiot
You: The cat had my tongue the other day. I was licking out its pussy. Do you like jokes?
Stranger: thats fucking disgusting
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: huh
You: It’s a simple question.
Stranger: ok that was rude!!!!!!
You: Cheer up, girly.
Stranger: fuck you doucheeeeeeeeeeeeee bag
You: Calm down. It was just a joke.
Stranger: hahaahah oh
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 15. how old are you
You: 18 years young.
Stranger: where are you from
You: England. You?
Stranger: minnesota
You: Is that like a mini soda?
Stranger: yeah duh. thats all we drink here
You: Have you ever been really drunk?
Stranger: why are you asking me this?
You: Why are you asking me that? Just curious.
Stranger: ive been pretty fucked up before yes. have you?
Stranger: and are you cute because i dont talk to ugly people
You: I am cute as a cucumber. Only once. Are you cute?
Stranger: im smokin, and you are 18 and only drank once hahaahah
You: I’ve only been properly drunk once.
Stranger: thats a sad story
You: How many times have you completed Morrowind?
Stranger: hey is it cool in england
Stranger: what the heck is morrowind
You: You don’t know it? That’s a sad story.
Stranger: do you go to college or something mister because you seem smart
You: I’m unemployed.
Stranger: hahahhahah sad s
Stranger: tory
You: I know. Got any jobs going?
Stranger: yeah i work at a catholic retreat center (:
You: Is a catholic someone who really likes cats?
Stranger: haahhaha yes
Stranger: there all addicted to cats and i teach them to not have to depend on them
Stranger: do u have an accent because that would be sexy
You: I suppose so.
Stranger: you seriously do?
You: I am English, so I would have an accent to you.
Stranger: i am english too. and i dont have an accent
You: If you are English, why do you find the accent sexy?
Stranger: because i am sexxy (: and i guess i am not english i guesss i just speak english ahah
You: Got any pictures?
Stranger: yeah . i take pics all the time
You: Care to share?
Stranger: ehhh nah
You: Frigid.
Stranger: ur mean
You: Because I know you love it rough.
Stranger: are you a virgin?
You: No. Are you?
Stranger: sadly yes
You: Why are you sad about it?#
Stranger: because i want to have sex
Stranger: before i die
You: Are you going to die in the next few years, then?
Stranger: no i dont know when i will die retard thats the point
You: You’ll die soon if you call me a retard again.
Stranger: retard
Stranger: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetard
You: What’s wrong with being retarded?
Stranger: nothing i just felt like calling you a retard
You: Why do you use it as an insult? Are you prejudiced against handicapped people?
Stranger: i didnt mean it as an insult i think being retarded is a cool thing
You: So you were complimenting me?
Stranger: duhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! i wish i had an accent
Stranger: do u think ppl from the us sound cool?
You: No. If you came to England, you would have a noticeable accent, and I could help you lose your virginity.
Stranger: i dont wanna have sex with you !
Stranger: and do people in england think it is cool when people from the usa have an accen thahah ?
Stranger: cuz i do
You: Maybe. I haven’t asked everyone here what they think.
Stranger: u type slow
Stranger: ask please
Stranger: are you by anyone?
You: I type slowly because I use a little thing we in England like to call punctuation. Nobody is nearby.
Stranger: omg bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: male
You: From where are you?
Stranger: italy
You: Do you like kebabs?
Stranger: yup
Stranger: why are you asking me ?
You: They come from your country.
Stranger: no, Kebab are not italian
You: Yes they are. Just like Mario and the Nazis.
Stranger: only Mario is from italy, nazis are from germany, and kebabs are from Arabic countries
You: You’re wrong, but OK.
Stranger: ok…wbu, then?
You: I like kebabs too.
Stranger: and where are you from?
You: Italy.
Stranger: ok
You: England. I tricked you!
Stranger: I know, otherwise you would talked italian
Stranger: are you m or f?
You: Male.
Stranger: why you told inferior before?
You: Women are inferior.
Stranger: I think they aren’t
You: You’re wrong, but OK.
Stranger: ok
You: What time is it in Nazi Italy?
Stranger: it’s an hour after your Catholic English time
You: What are you doing up at 3:15 AM in the morning?
Stranger: whatever I want
You: Wanking?
Stranger: even that, why not?
You: It’s weird that I turn you on.
Stranger: You don’t in fact
You: Then why are you masturbating over me?
Stranger: there is only a computer in front of me, so I’m not doin’ it over you
Stranger: my keybord turn me on
You: You’re thinking about my hot arse, though.
Stranger: no
Stranger: you are not a girl, so not
You: I’m not judging you.
Stranger: I’m not asking you not to do it, and I haven’t asked you why you’re judging me
You: I’m not judging you about your homosexuality.
Stranger: i’m not, but if you want to think it do it, I don’t know you, I don’t give a fuck
You: I’m glad you don’t care that others think you’re gay.
Stranger: People can think anything, I’m not people and people aren’t me
You: You are about .07% of all people in the world, though.
Stranger: I’m not a person
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Female or inferior?
Stranger: asl?
You: Guess.
Stranger: f/17/US?
You: So close.
Stranger: How close?
You: About 4
Stranger: 21 OR 13?
You: No. 4 on the scale of closeness.
Stranger: I dont know what the hell that means
You: As any schoolchild knows, the scale of closeness shows how close two things are.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: heyh baby ;) 17 f canada
You: Female or inferior?
You: Girl power. Yeah!
Stranger: :)
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: a thong and shirt
You: Put some clothes on, whore.
Stranger: no thanks
Stranger: its to hot here :P
You: You are wrong. Canada is always cold.
Stranger: no
You: I think I know a little more about Canada than you do.
Stranger: ive lived in canada my whole life bud
You: But you are female and therefore you don’t know nothing ’bout nothing.
Stranger: stfu bitchh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: cool 25 m uk
You: Gay?
Stranger: bi
You: Are you going?
Stranger: ??
You: You just said bye.
Stranger: bisexual
You: What’s that? Does that mean you were born a woman?
Stranger: No, I like fucking women (a lot) but also like the look and feel of a good looking young cock
You: That’s definitely a bit gay.
Stranger: A little, but I just like the look of a cock, not the look of the man, strange?
You: You are a pervert.
Stranger: sorry,but not really, just have a high sex drive
You: Mine’s so high I can’t get it off the shelf, and by that i mean I wank a lot.
Stranger: well surely you can appreciate that whether it’s a women or or man grabbing hold of you cock, it doesn’;t really matter..
You: Oh, it does matter. It matters very much.
Stranger: that’s cool, ever fucked a girl?
You: I barely even know what a girl is, but yes.
Stranger: Sorry, you’ll have to explain, why don’t you know what a girl si?
You: I don’t get out much.
Stranger: eed to go for 5 mins, love to carry on talking to you,will you wait?
You: No. I hate you.
Stranger: ok cool each to his own
You: No you disconnect first.
Stranger: why would i want to, I actually find talking to you quite interesting
You: Sounds a bit gay to me.
Stranger: Ok no worries
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Who is better-looking? http://i54.tinypic.com/f23jo6.jpg
Stranger: One sec
You: One.
Stranger: One minute :)
You: One.
Stranger: It’s the same guy?
You: Almost. He’s my brother.
Stranger: Oh well the guy on the left .. The beard on the left is kinda .. A turn off
You: That’s not what the last person said.
Stranger: What did they say ?
You: They said they preferred grumpy-old-me over my brother.
Stranger: Oh sorry but I’d rather your brother ..
You: Why?
Stranger: Just clean shaven & his hair is cuter !
You: So If I shaved and cut my hair, we could have a threesome?
Stranger: It’s not as shaggy & he doesn’t look like he’s lazy .. No offense & haha maybe !
You: Niiiiiice. We’ll be round tomorrow. Is that OK?
Stranger: Haha well I got school tomorrow till three ! But after that sure
You: School? How old are you? 17?
Stranger: Yea 17
Stranger: Well 18 in June !
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Canada !
You: That’s in America, isn’t it?
Stranger: No ? Where the fuck are you from?
Stranger: Canada is an entirely different country !
You: England, and I think I know a little something about Canada and what country it’s in.
Stranger: I think I know considering I live in it ! It’s in the content of north America ! [I read this as “content north of America” At the time, I thought it was a funny way of putting it.]
You: That’s Greenland and sea. You should know more about the state you live in.
Stranger: Or you should take geography classes
You: I am male and older, so I know more than you, you stupid whore.
Stranger: Go fuck your brother ! I’m pretty sure just cause your older doesnt make you smarter & plus all males know is how to scratch their & as & where the fridge is
You: And I know where Canada is. :)
Stranger: I’m sure you do
You: How many people have you had sex with?
Stranger: 1 & it was a joke when I said id do it with you
You: Why? Am I really that ugly?
Stranger: Noo ..? I just wouldn’t I’m not a whore
You: Good. Maybe not all American girls are whores.
Stranger: I’m not fucking american
You: You come from America? Yes. Therefore, you are American. I don’t mind.
Stranger: I’m not american .. I’m canadian
You: I’m not saying you’re not Canadian, but you are also American. Canada is in the USA.
Stranger: No it’s not , it’s next to the usa
You: It’s in the USA. Why can you not understand a simple fact?
Stranger: Because it’s not a fact !
You: Are you angry at me?
Stranger: Kinda
You: Do you want to spank me?
Stranger: No?
You: Why not?
Stranger: Cause that’s weird
You: Probably some of the stuff you like seems weird.
Stranger: What
You: Having sex with a man seems weird to me.
Stranger: Umm k?
You: Got any fetishes?
Stranger: No?
You: I bet you have.
Stranger: Nope
You: So your ideal sex would just be in the missionary position and nothing else?
Stranger: No?
You: What would your ideal sex be?
Stranger: I dunno , different positions ? Ive only done it once
You: With who?
Stranger: My bf
You: Does bf mean big fanny? Is he still your big fanny?
Stranger: No? It means boyfriend!
You: Is he still your boyfriend?
Stranger: No
You: Why did you break up?
Stranger: Different reasons
You: Was he having sex with someone slimmer and more attractive than you?
Stranger: -_- you don’t even know what I look like!
You: Don’t get me wrong, you’re not that bad to look at.
Stranger: How. Do you know?
You: Profiling.
Stranger: What
You: I can tell by the way you type and what you say.
Stranger: Really?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Weird
You: Not really. We do it subconsciously all the time.
Stranger: True .. But I saw a picture of you
You: I bet you have made other assumptions about me, though, haven’t you?
Stranger: Maybe ? Who doesnt make assumptions
You: Exactly, but mine are correct.
Stranger: How?
You: Years of practice.
Stranger: Ok quiz then .. What colors my hair?
You: I can really only tell the basics about your appearance, but taking a random guess, I’d say brunette.
Stranger: Alright .. Well then tell me what you think I look like !
You: As I say, reasonably attractive, a bit fat (but you look good. It’s not an insult), slightly above average height.
Stranger: What’s average height?
You: About 5 foot 6.
Stranger: Ok .. Your good at this I guess ..
You: As I say, years of practice.
Stranger: How old are you?
You: 18.
Stranger: :o dick
Stranger: You said you were much older your not even a year older
You: I said I was older. Did you make an assumption?
Stranger: You said you were much older
You: When?
Stranger: When we were arguing about Canada being in the USA (which it’s fucking NOT)
You: Arguments are a great way to judge a person. I said I was older. I am older.
Stranger: Not much older ! When’s your birthday ?
You: May 21 1993.
Stranger: So your not even a year older than me
You: No. Assumptions can be dangerous.
Stranger: K?
You: Just saying.
Stranger: Alright well what else do you think I look like ?
You: Anything else is much more than profiling can achieve. I’m not psychic.
Stranger: Well then just guess
You: C-size tits. Green eyes. No deformities. Long hair.
Stranger: Holy shit !
You: Something the matter?
Stranger: Your kinda really good at this ! Like 3/4 on that last one
You: One of the guesses was no deformities. Does that really count?
Stranger: No .. I have like should length hair , that’s not really long & I don’t have deformities unless crooked fingers count
You: What’s that?
Stranger: My middle fingers aren’t strange
You: Straight?
Stranger: Stupid iPod ! Yea they aren’t straight
You: Have you tried straightening them?
Stranger: It’s the bone that isn’t straight the only way to straighten them would be to break them
You: I think it’s too much masturbation that’s caused that.
Stranger: I’ve never masturbated ? & it’s been like that since I was born !
You: You’ve never masturbated? You’ve never lived.
Stranger: I’m not a guy .. I don’t really have time to masturbate & when I do I have much better things to do
You: Multitask. I’m masturbating right now.
Stranger: Uh .. Didn’t need to know that !
Stranger: & plus it wouldn’t make my middle fingers crooked
You: Unless you were doing it on a bus and you went over a harsh bump.
Stranger: No , still wouldn’t make them deformed & that’s gross who would do that?
You: Not me, that’s for sure. Who said it was me? I don’t do it. Honest.
Stranger: Ew , you do don’t you
You: No.
Technical error: server disconnected.

Lucky guesses. This is the first time I tried it. Maybe I am actually psychic.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: 18 female brazil
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: no pants. a thong. a tanktop. no bra
You: Very sexy.
Stranger: thanks’
Stranger: im hornaynay
You: Do you want me to pretend to fuck you?
Stranger: sure
You: I put my dick in you.
Stranger: yum
You: Then I take it out and put it in again.
Stranger: what the fuck why
Stranger: you asswipe
You: That’s sex, that is.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: 5. 5. 5.
Stranger: ???
You: Admeasurement, size, length?
Stranger: not even
You: No. 5 is odd.
Stranger: ur dumb age sex location
You: I’m not dumb.
Stranger: yeah
You: ASL?
Stranger: 15 f usa
You: Niiiiice. What are you wearing?
Stranger: clothes asl?
You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: cool! haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Do you want to see my massive cock?
Stranger: sure
You: Gay.
Stranger: female, you fuck
You: Whore.
Stranger: i know, huh
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 19, or does it not matter
You: 5 and up is fine by me.
Stranger: im sure the 5 year old think your dick is impressive
Stranger: i dont know about me
You: What’s impressive by your standards?
Stranger: a good 8 inches.
Stranger: let me guess, 9, right
You: Half that then add half.
Stranger: half what 8?
You: Does it really matter? It’s small whatever number you half.
Stranger: what happened to this massive cock you told me about
You: Most people quit after that so I didn’t think it would matter what I said.
Stranger: oh. well i didn’t. and now i’m a bit disappointed
You: Sorry. Could it make it up to you somehow?
Stranger: how would you do that?
You: I could fist you?
Stranger: haha. sorry. your fist isn’t going to fit in my pussy, and it aint going in my ass
You: You could fist me?
Stranger: you could get a guy to do that.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: didn’t say you were
You: We could hold hands. Does that turn you on?
Stranger: haha. turn me on. no. it doesn’t turn me on. cocks turn me on
You: I could paint my fingers to look like lots of dicks. Would you like that?
Stranger: not in the least
You: You’re a diffcult woman to please.
Stranger: not really. the man just has to have what i need.
You: Food and water and oxygen?
Stranger: food, water, oxygen and a nice cock. we’ve already been over this.
Stranger: i apologize if my sexual nature intimidates you
You: It does intimidate me. I’m only eight.
Stranger: i doubt that.
Stranger: why do you lie? just be honest
You: I am 9 days away from my 18th birthday.
Stranger: thanks. i appreciate the honesty.
Stranger: Happy birthday, by the way.
You: Happy birthday to you too. From where are you?
Stranger: US
You: I’ve heard of that place.
Stranger: i’m done. bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: oh hey there
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: clothes ;)
You: Thanks for that. I just came.
Stranger: orlly babyy
You: No.
Stranger: (:
You: From where are you?
Stranger: from where are you?
You: I asked first.
Stranger: i was making fun of the way you said it.
Stranger: new jersey though.
You: I didn’t ask what you are wearing.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: lol you just did
You: You said you were wearing a new jersey.
Stranger: no, you asked where i was from
You: And said you were wearing a jersey.
Stranger: i said im from new jersey
Stranger: not a jersey
Stranger: you’re not making any sense.
Stranger: you know.
You: I’m making fish of sense.
Stranger: indeedly.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 17.
You: Baby.
Stranger: okay well how old are you
You: 18.
Stranger: okay so how does being 17 make me a baby?
You: I was just calling you baby as a term of affection.
Stranger: oh well thanks lovey.
You: Have you got a boyfriend?
Stranger: no i do not!
Stranger: do you have a gf?
You: No. Why not. Are you a lesbian?
Stranger: no maybe no guys are interested in me like that?
Stranger: why would that make me a lesbian?
You: I was just guessing. Sorry if it was too close to home.
Stranger: haha just a little you’re fine though.
Stranger: why don’t you have a gf?
Stranger: you gay?
You: Yes. I am very gay.
Stranger: yeah?
Stranger: thats great are you happy about the ny bill being passed then!?
You: I’m not really gay. Is NY Bill a gay man?
Stranger: okay well im pretty sure you’re like a 50 year old man.
You: Why so, little girl?
Stranger: the way you type, its so obvious.
You: Not all young people are idiots.
Stranger: okay well.
Stranger: it was nice talking to you.
You: Would you go out with me even if I was 50?
Stranger: no.
Stranger: i would go 7 years older tops.
You: Frigid.
Stranger: nah i just have standards.
You: What are they?
Stranger: not 50 year old men.
Stranger: basically.
You: I’m 18, though. Please love me.
Stranger: haha thats okay, ill pass.
Stranger: we cool though, we can be friends.
You: With benefits?
Stranger: nope.
Stranger: not down with that.
You: You’re no fun. You used to be cool.
Stranger: aww.
Stranger: well maybe i guyss friends with benefits it depends on the guy.
You: Depends on cock size?
Stranger: ohh ho ho got me there!
You: You big whore.
Stranger: oh totally.
Stranger: gettting dicks all day errday.
You: I wish I was you.
You: But with pussy.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: soo are you saying i dont have pussy?
You: I would need some pictures to tell for sure.
Stranger: oh.
Stranger: well i would like to confirm that you’re actually not a pedophile and just a really horny and bored teenager before that happens.
You: The second one.
Stranger: ill need proof.
You: http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/904/dreamboat.jpg This is me this is.
Stranger: you look younger than 18!
You: I was probably 17 in that picture.
Stranger: understandable.
You: Do you fancy me?
Stranger: you’re cute!
You: I thought you said you had standards?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: I’m female
Stranger: Age?
You: I’m 18 years young.
Stranger: Cool, I’m 16
You: Hahaha. Baby.
Stranger: Baby? You really think I’m a baby? I’m not that young
You: I’m just messin’ (messing) with ya (you).
Stranger: Mhm. Alright then
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Canada. You?
You: Is that in the USA? England.
Stranger: Canada is a different country than the USA. And you’re British? Awesome, I love British boys ;)
You: Do you want to move to England and have sex with me?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: 14, female, usa.
You: Hahaha. Baby.
Stranger: haha yeah :(
You: I could make you feel like a woman.
Stranger: hahaha i have a boyfriend
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: horny boy?
You: Yes. You?
Stranger: no
Stranger: im a girl looking to chat cuz im bored
You: Chat about what?
Stranger: idk anything really
Stranger: as long as its not about sex
You: What is your favourite type of sex?
Stranger: ok what did i just say?
You: Something about shoes?
Stranger: uhhh
You: Bless you.
Stranger: i didnt sneeze
You: Sorry. I thought you did.
Stranger: ok whatever
Stranger: so how exactly did u get horny?
You: I was born male.
Stranger: right
Stranger: do u think 12 year ol boys r horny too?
You: I was.
Stranger: 13?
You: I was.
Stranger: 1?
You: Probably not.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: 10?
You: Maybe.
Stranger: 11?
You: What the fuck is this?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
You: Hey, gay, as I always say.
Stranger: hahah really?
You: No.
Stranger: what do you say then? ha
You: I usually just say “horny f?”
Stranger: hahah well i got the f.. could go either way with the horny part
Stranger: you?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: cool
You: You?
Stranger: 21 f usa
You: You are an old lady.
Stranger: hahah sorry..
You: It’s not your fault. It’s your parents I have the issue with.
Stranger: ah of course
You: What brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: bored as fuck haha
Stranger: you?
You: Bored of fuck
You: ing. Coz I is a playa.
Stranger: hahahah
Stranger: nice
You: What do you do in life?
Stranger: student
Stranger: you?
You: Unemployed.
Stranger: cool cool
You: What do you study?
Stranger: physics
You: What’s that?
Stranger: likee…. the way stuff works haha
You: That’ll do. Can you get a career in physics?
Stranger: engineering…
You: What kind do you want to be?
Stranger: dont know yet
You: You women just can’t make your minds up.
Stranger: exactly the problem
You: Word on the street is: all the money is in the petrol industry.
Stranger: hmmm i better get on that then
You: If you make lots of money, half of it is rightly mine for telling you.
Stranger: well, naturally
You: You got a boyfriend?
Stranger: nope
You: Lesbian.
Stranger: haha nope
You: Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
Stranger: just dont hah
You: Do you only have half your limbs or something?
Stranger: i actually just have the one arm… im typing with one hand here
You: I’m typing with one arm now at the thought of that.
Stranger: hahahah
You: Where in the US are you?
Stranger: ca
You: Nice. I have been there.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: where you at in england?
You: London.
Stranger: sweet
Stranger: never been
You: Feel free to stay in my bed with me if you ever visit.
Stranger: hahah perfect, now i got a place to stay
You: And I have a place to visit, if you catch my drift.
Stranger: hahahha gotcha
You: Why are you awake so late/early?
Stranger: bored, cant sleep
Stranger: haha
Stranger: drinking earlier
You: Have a heroin. That should make you tired.
Stranger: damn, just ran out
You: If your heroin has started running away, you need less LSD.
Stranger: either that or i should put some more bolts on the door
You: That way, you won’t get people like me coming in and taking advantage of a drunk you.
Stranger: hahah well maybe i should leave them off then
You: Whore.
Stranger: hahah my bad
You: I’m not complaining.
Stranger: hahah alright
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: usual sleepwear haha t shirt and shorts
You: Very nice.
Stranger: i guess ha
You: I didn’t sleep last night either.
Stranger: whys that?
You: I wanted to complete Portal II in one sitting.
Stranger: whats that?
You: A video game.
Stranger: ohhh cool
You: Do you like games?
Stranger: i like them, but i dont know anything about them… i play when others around me are playing
You: What do you do with your free time?
Stranger: read, hang around and bullshit hah
You: I wish I could read.
Stranger: yeah it would make things like omegle much more interesting
Stranger: just a bunch of gibberish now
You: If I’ve made any sense at all it’s purely by pineapple.
Stranger: ahh that lucky yellow fruit, always helping ya out
You: Do you like pineapples?
Stranger: depends
You: On what?
Stranger: i dont eat it by itself.. but i like pineapple flavored stuff
You: What about pineapple flavoured fruit?
Stranger: no way
Stranger: thats just pushing it too far
You: Pushing a pineapple too far can cause serious pain.
Stranger: dont i know it
You: I would have liked to see that.
Stranger: hahah right
You: What are you doing now?
Stranger: chilling in bed haha
You: Have another blanket if you’re cold.
Stranger: hahah dont worry i got that taken care of
Stranger: its actually hot as hell here right now
You: I can imagine.
Stranger: mmhmmm
You: Seen any good films lately?
Stranger: nope, havent been to the movies in awhile
Stranger: how bout you?
You: I don’t watch many films.
Stranger: thats fair
You: Like a theme park or my skin.
Stranger: unless theres rides involved, ide have to go with the skin
You: There are rides involved with both options.
Stranger: oh ok well then either way
Stranger: haha
You: Got any plans for tomorrow?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: sleeping in
You: Lazy students, sponging off the system and wasting taxpayers’ money.
Stranger: yeah and dont even get me started about those square pants they wear
You: And their round shirts or triangular blouses.
Stranger: too geometrical these days
You: Every day is like a Dali picture.
Stranger: whoa mind blown
You: Don’t hold your hairdryer so close to your ear.
Stranger: especially not in the bathtub
You: Unless you’re going for a frizzy afro.
Stranger: oh you know i am
You: Do you want to come to England and have sex with me tonight?
Stranger: hahah what if i was already on my way
You: I would commend your efficiency.
Stranger: why thank you
You: You are very welcome.
Stranger: hahah
You: Nice palindrome.
Stranger: a nut for a jar of tuna
You: I’m a tuba, but am I?
Stranger: hahah nice
You: I made that one myself. Impressed?
Stranger: so very impressed
You: You know what they say, wordplay’s the same as swordplay but in a different order and with less bloodshed.
Stranger: hahahah never eard that one either
You: That’s because it’s a terrible sentence.
Stranger: hahahah no i liked it
You: Then why don’t you marry it?
Stranger: were actually working through tthe divorice process now
Stranger: its rough
You: I’m sorry to hear that. If you need any help getting through this tough time, I’m always here to help you relieve sexual tension.
Stranger: good to hear
Stranger: i was considering going with the previous sentence for that sex counseling but youll do as well
You: Don’t mention sex council. It reminds me of that time I was tried for rape.
Stranger: ohhhh shit
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: it wont happen again?
You: Not if they consent this time.
Stranger: ill give them the heads up on that one
You: It’s actually best to keep your head down if you know I’m cumming.
Stranger: right
Stranger: duhhh
You: Bless you.
Stranger: i prefer gazuntight
You: I like my gays tight too.
Stranger: hahah right
You: Are you tired yet?
Stranger: not in the slightest
Stranger: you?
You: Surprisingly not.
Stranger: cool cool
You: Said the eskimo in his echoing igloo.
Stranger: he shouldve consulted the sound experts before construction
You: Or he should just buy a house like normal people.
Stranger: we cant rush him
Stranger: let him come in his own time
You: You can’t rush a wank.
Stranger: ill keep that in mind
You: Good.
Stranger: sooo wassup??
You: The opposite of down. It’s a very simple word.
Stranger: mmm clearly i gotta brush up on my dr. suess
You: He’ll be a lucky man to have you brushing up against him.
Stranger: lets hope he doesnt object
You: I really don’t think he would.
Stranger: cool as long as i have to go-ahead from you
You: I can’t really stop you, because I am weak and you could probably beat me in a fight.
Stranger: what makes you say that? haha
You: I tried to a chin-up this morning. I couldn’t even do it.
Stranger: hahah well keep trying, maybe you can beat me someday
You: I’d certainly like to try.
Stranger: we’ll have to arrange that then
You: Do you like getting tied to a bed and spanked by someone who looks like a fat Milky Bar kid?
Stranger: depends… would i get milky bars as well? haha
You: It wouldn’t exactly be milk…
Stranger: hahah but would it taste good?
You: It depends on whether or not you like the taste of semen.
Stranger: what do you think?
You: You seem like a massive whore, so I’d say yes.
Stranger: hahah well the massive whore may be a bit of an exaggeration… the alcohol may have something to do with that
Stranger: but guess i could have the milk every once in a while if the situation arises
You: I like normal milk. Do you?
Stranger: 2%’s my thing
You: Me too, but I bought a 4% the other day and that was lovely.
Stranger: whooaaa we dont have anythign bigger than whole milk here
You: 4% is whole milk.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: haha
You: I think it should go up to about 20%. If I ever make milk, it will go up to 20% fat.
Stranger: whoa, dreaming big over there
You: Mummy, mummy, when I grow up, I want to have cow and make fattening milk with it.
Stranger: such ambitions…
You: It’s only a pipe dream.
Stranger: unfortunate
You: Yep. It’s a shame.
Stranger: well when i get rich on that petrol idea ill make sur eyou get all the cows you need for your milk
You: Good callback. Then we can team up and make petrol cows.
Stranger: well be unstoppable
You: Unless there’s an outbreak of foot and piston disease.
Stranger: well be sure to keep that real hush hush then
Stranger: sweep it under the table
You: Like the dust and dead bodies.
Stranger: well there ya go letting out more secrets… thats exactly the kind of thing youre gonna have to control if we wanna make it to the top
You: I want to make it to your top and then go under it.
Stranger: you may have to talk to HR about that.. dont know how they feel about intercompany relations
You: I’m the HR around these parts, and I’ll be the HR around your parts too if you’re lucky.
Stranger: hahaha i can only hope
You: Or you could not hope and be replused by the idea like most other females.
Stranger: ehh doubt that
You: I don’t actually know. I’ve never spoken to a girl in real life.
Stranger: not true, i seem to remember you asking your mom for a nice cow earlier
You: Okay, Miss Memory, but she’s not really a girl.
Stranger: she was once
Stranger: and thats mrs. memory to you, i told you about my whole debacle with the sentence-divorce
You: Sorry, Mrs. Memory.
Stranger: thanks
You: What’s your first name?
Stranger: molly
Stranger: yours?
You: Lydon.
Stranger: cool
You: I used to know a girl called Molly.
Stranger: thought you didnt speak to girls?
You: I didn’t think my story through. Nowadays, I don’t often speak to girls.
Stranger: alright, story amended
Stranger: although not entirely correct, seeing as how youre talking to one now
You: You might really be man.
Stranger: damn, you got my secret
Stranger: although i have a feeling a man named molly would be ridiculed immensely on the playground
You: Were you ridiculed immensely on the playground?
You: I need to go now.
You: The connection has disconnected, which is very annoying.

You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: bi?
You: Are you going?
Stranger: ?
You: You just said bye.
Stranger: bisexual
You: No, I don’t want to buy sex from you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello
You: Good morning.
Stranger: morning?
Stranger: where are you??
You: England.
Stranger: certainly its still the eve
You: It is here. I though it might be morning where you are.
Stranger: why you think that?
You: I’m a gambling man.
Stranger: fell, Im afraid Ill have to dissapoint you
Stranger: good sir
You: From where are you?
Stranger: tis 22:56 here
Stranger: :p
Stranger: Dublin
You: Is that near Ireland?
Stranger: :|
You: I’ll take that as a no. How old are you?
Stranger: ……its the capital of Ireland
You: That’s Belfast, silly.
Stranger: *facepalm*
Stranger: Republic of Ireland!!!
Stranger: the real Ireland!
You: It’s all the same, though.
Stranger: WHAT????
You: Ireland is just one big lump.
Stranger: lol, no I know youre just fucking with me
You: Yes. Of course I know Ireland is on two islands.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok, lets end the jokes
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 18 years young.
Stranger: im 19
Stranger: and I know you know that Dublin is the capital of Ireland
Stranger: also that its part of Republic of Ireland
You: I can’t quite recall the name Dublin.
Stranger: and Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK
Stranger: and Ireland is one island
Stranger: also it is not a lump
You: So is Ireland the same as Wales?
Stranger: …
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes it is
You: And you come from Southern Island?
Stranger: no
Stranger: I come from Ukraine
Stranger: now we have a twist in the plot
You: Is the Ukraine the local name for Scotland because it is the rainy part of the UK?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: come down there once in a while
Stranger: on Tuesdays we parade around naked on the streets
Stranger: its tradition
You: Niiiiice. I will go down and visit you sometime.
Stranger: you should
You: Are you male or inferior?
Stranger: I am male
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: neither am I
You: You are. What brings you to Omegle, gay?
Stranger: ……
Stranger: hmmm
You: Have you just cum?
Stranger: affirmative
Stranger: u mad?
You: No. It turns me on.
You: I’m not gay, though.
Stranger: yeah, sure youre not
Stranger: problem?
You: I’ll have sex with you and not enjoy it to prove I am not gay.
Stranger: I would hit you very hard if you come close to me in pursuit of sex
You: You are a homophone.
Stranger: meh
Stranger: whatever you want to call it
Stranger: I know what I am
You: A big fat gay.
Stranger: and Im too lazy to prove
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: im that
Stranger: what about you
Stranger: what are you?
You: I am not a homophone but I’m not gay.
Stranger: go on
You: I am straight – sorry to disappoint you.
Stranger: im fine
Stranger: go on
You: That’s all.
Stranger: youre a boring individual
You: Yes.
Stranger: finally we agree on something together
You: You can leave any time you want.
Stranger: I suppose I could
You: But I think you fancy me.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ;)
You: Don’t do that.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: this?
Stranger: ;)
You: I don’t like that.
Stranger: yes you do
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: me gusta!
You: I might like it, but I won’t say.
Stranger: ..
Stranger: ok
Stranger: :(
You: That’s a better face because I hate you.
Stranger: you know you love me
Stranger: dont deny it
Stranger: we connected during this conversation
You: At the start.
Stranger: in fact, I think you’re pregnant
You: No, I’m just fat.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: go do some exercise
Stranger: and eat less junk
You: I’ll move tomorrow.
Stranger: you better
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: I have a gf
You: A gay fag?
Stranger: girl
Stranger: friend
You: Gay.
You: Fag.
Stranger: oook
Stranger: im leaving now
Stranger: been a pleasure
You: She looks like a man anyway.
Stranger: adios fag
You: Bye, sexy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: hey, ask me anything
Stranger: I’m also male
Stranger: wanna have a non-sexual conversation?
You: Are you a big fat gay?
Stranger: nope
You: Do you like sex?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: who doesn’t?
You: From my experience, all girls don’t want to have sex.
Stranger: you’re a virgin?
You: No.
Stranger: so a rapist then
You: She would have consented.
Stranger: would have?
Stranger: why didn’t she?
You: Her throat was slit.
Stranger: then you’re a virgin
Stranger: dead chicks don’t count
You: Yes they do.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: hey:)
Stranger: erm it’s the night?
Stranger: well evening
You: Where are you?
Stranger: uk :L
You: Where is that?
Stranger: erm england?
You: Never heard of it.
Stranger: omg where are you from?
You: London.
Stranger: what the hell
You: Have you heard of it?
Stranger: erm thats in england!
You: I don’t think it is.
Stranger: erm it’s
Stranger: it the capital
Stranger: *it’s
You: I got a C on GCSE geography so I should know. It isn’t.
Stranger: it is you freak.. well i think they mark your paper wrong
You: No need to call me a freak. I’m not that ugly.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: it’s night here.
You: No it isn’t.
Stranger: yeah it is. it’s 0:51.
You: That is morning.
Stranger: No. Night.
You: Are you in Germany?
Stranger: Denmark.
You: Same.
Stranger: Right above Germany.
You: They are all the same.
Stranger: Nope. Not really. If you where from Denmark, you would understand this:
Stranger: N

Stranger: WWWYKI.
You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: Hey.
You: Who are you?
Stranger: Who am I? Who are YOU?
You: I asked first.
Stranger: I asked second. First is the worst, second is the best.
Stranger: Alright, I’m a female.
You: Unlucky for you.
Stranger: Yeah it is unlucky. I’m stuck with bleeding out of my vagina every month.
You: Niiiiiiiice.
Stranger: And birth pain.. but ya know. That’s life.
Stranger: So, who are YOU.
You: I am male and I’m stuck with bleeding from my cock every month. I think I masturbate too much.
Stranger: Ahaha. Funnnny.
Stranger: Maybe you should cut back on that?
You: Maybe you could do it for me?
Stranger: Really? Really? Your going to ask me THAT? How old are you?
You: 18 years young. You?
Stranger: 16. Do you watch wrestling? (just curious)
You: Only the stuff with women and mud.
Stranger: Oh sweet god, that’s not what I meant.
You: You should have specified, little lady.
Stranger: Like, the WWE.. with John Cena? Kelly Kelly? Randy Orton? ETC.
You: Giant Haystacks?
Stranger: What?
You: He is a wrestleman.
Stranger: Oh. They don’t call them “wrestleman” they call them wrestlers. And for the men it’s Superstars and women: Diva’s.
Stranger: Where you from?
You: England. Have you heard of it? From where are you?
Stranger: Yeah! Of course, I’ve heard of it. I’m from USA.
Stranger: Also known as the country with all the fat people!
You: Are you fat? I will still have sex with you even if you are.
Stranger: Aha nooo. I think I am, but everyone thinks I’m a stick.
You: What’s brown and sticky?
Stranger: This is a trick question.. CHOCOLATE.
You: A stick.
Stranger: CLEVER.
Stranger: I see what you did there.
You: No, you see what people hundreds of years ago did when that joke was invented.
Stranger: Ahaha.
You: So when are you next coming to England?
Stranger: Never. I’ve never even been there before!
You: Then how are we going to have sex? My dick won’t stretch to the USA.
Stranger: Ahahah. We’re not!
You: Cocktease.
Stranger: Take care, spike your hair.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Are you horny? If you both are, you should do something about that. ;)
Stranger: Not really
You: Pervert.
Stranger: Meh, it’s usually a good conversation starter
You: Can we have sex anyway to please the weirdo?
Stranger: Um
Stranger: Sure?
You: Where do you live?
Stranger: That’s really not important, is it?
Stranger: Wait
Stranger: Do you mean
You: Do you want to meet at my place, then?
Stranger: Like
Stranger: Depends
Stranger: How attractive are you?
You: I’d say I’m an 8.
You: Out of 100.
Stranger: Well I’m more like a 3
Stranger: Oh yeah
Stranger: That sounds like we’re compatible then
You: How many holes have you got?
Stranger: Just one
Stranger: Wait
Stranger: Technically 2
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: Neither am I
Stranger: I was going to pretend you had boobies
You: I sort of do.
Stranger: YES!
Stranger: This will totally work out then
You: There’s nothing gay about sex with another man.
Stranger: Exactly
Stranger: As long as you don’t have a hardon when you do it
Stranger: Wait what?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: BOOO!!!
You: Aaaahhhh.
Stranger: FINALLLY!!!
Stranger: SOMEONE IS AFRAID OF MEE
Stranger: My goodness
Stranger: You’re my hero!
You: What do you look like so I know of whom to be afraid?
Stranger: Well, my name is Jamie
Stranger: Don’t let the name fool you though
Stranger: I’m a dude
You: You’re a dud, more like.
Stranger: and I’m probably the splitting image of James Bond
Stranger: now now, don’t get nasty
Stranger: we just met
You: I like it nasty.
Stranger: Good for you
Stranger: At least you’re getting some
You: Not until I speak to Alicia Booth.
Stranger: Who’s Alicia Booth?
You: She will be my girlfriend.
Stranger: oohhhhhh
Stranger: your crushhh
You: I’m not even fat and if I was, she could go on top.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: Let the girl do all the work eh?
Stranger: while you just lie there
You: That’s my plan.
Stranger: that’s generous of you
Stranger: so what’s your name dude?
You: Lydon.
Stranger: Nice to meet you Lydon
Stranger: Where are you from?
You: From England I am.
Stranger: ahhh
Stranger: England
Stranger: God Save the Queen
You: The fascist regime?
Stranger: yeap
Stranger: For one, you’re named after Jonny Rotten
You: I am impressed.
Stranger: Thank You
Stranger: Punk Rock \m/
You: What?
Stranger: nothingg
Stranger: How old are ya?
You: I am 17 years young. How old are yi?
Stranger: I’m 18 this sept
Stranger: so 17 years young too
Stranger: From Singapore i am
Stranger: you guys used to own this land
You: And now look at it.
Stranger: It’s more cleaner and advanced than you guys can ever do
Stranger: so yay us
You: I see your country drives on the left.
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: The Steering wheel is on the right side
Stranger: like you guys
Stranger: not the wrong side
Stranger: like the french
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: nope
You: Please.
Stranger: I’m insulted dude
Stranger: Thinking I’m gay
Stranger: Fuckk man
Stranger: Do I seem gay?
You: A little.
Stranger: shit
Stranger: no wonder I can’t get the ladies
You: You are such a loser.
Stranger: Speak for yourself
You: I am.
Stranger: You’re a loser too?
Stranger: Such a lsoer you can’t get Alicia Booth?
You: I need to speak to her first.
Stranger: So you haven’t even tried
Stranger: What’s the matter?
Stranger: Cat got your balls?
You: Who are you, the honey monster? I get scared.
Stranger: It’s much better than starting out with asl
Stranger: asl fucking SUCKS
Stranger: Whatever happened to getting to know those information through the art of conversation
You: In a real world conversation, they would all be fairly obvious. It sets a decent pretext for the conversation.
Stranger: True
Stranger: Except they’ll disconnect you if you don’t suit them
Stranger: they don’t even bother trying
Stranger: all those wankers are just out to talk to girls
You: I was hoping you were a girl, actually.
Stranger: Close enough innit?
Stranger: Since you thought you were gay
Stranger: I was gay**
Stranger: sorry
You: I can tell the difference between a woman’s vagia and a man’s arse, so no, it’s not close enough.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: touche
You: No you’re a douche.
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: I try my best
Stranger: what brings you to this God’forsaken site anyway?
You: Looking for pussy.
Stranger: You do know this is text based yeah?
Stranger: you wouldn’t be able to see some
Stranger: Why not go don’t to your local pub
Stranger: you’ll get better luck there
Stranger: down*
You: I am scared of the sort of people who frequent pubs.
Stranger: Wow
Stranger: So you resort to omegle instead
Stranger: isn’t it pathetic?
You: No. I had cybersex with a 13-year-old once but it turned out to be a man but it was still fun while it lasted.
Stranger: Ignorance is bliss?
Stranger: and you go for 13-year-olds?
Stranger: Sexual predators in the making?
You: If they are there for the taking, yes.
Stranger: right
Stranger: I might be a douche
Stranger: but you’re a creep
You: They look and feel the same.
Stranger: who?
You: 13-year-olds and older ladies.
Stranger: speaking from experience?
You: I wish.
Stranger: so you’re just making an assumption?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Awesome
Stranger: Good luck with Alicia Booth
Stranger: and Your life
You: Thank you.
Stranger: i’m sure you guys will make a lovely couple
Stranger: Cheers!
You: Good luck with your legs.
Stranger: legs?
You: Sorry. Do you not have legs?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: but it’s a strange thing to wish good luck to
You: I thought it was normal.
Stranger: anyway
Stranger: Good luck with your life
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Alicia Booth said no, the slag.

Stranger: hiya
You: I am male too.
Stranger: and im female
You: Human?
Stranger: obvs
You: From where are you?
Stranger: england you freak
You: Why am I freak?
Stranger: coz u ask werid questions
You: I’m only asking “ASL” the long way.
Stranger: okeyy then were u from?
You: England.
Stranger: were bouts in england?
You: London. You?
Stranger: essex
Stranger: you girl or boy?
You: Are you actually retarded?
Stranger: pfft no
You: Read what you’ve already acknowledged. How old are you?
Stranger: ohh yh lmao!! and im 14 why? im just abit dumb lool
You: Got a boyfriend, little girl?
Stranger: lool and yh..how old are you??
You: I’m 17 years young.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: you got a girlfriend/
You: Not yet. I will have one by the end of this conversation, though.
Stranger: looool
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: my p.j’s scening it is 11:05
You: You should be asleep.
Stranger: so should you
You: I’m a big boy. I go to bed when I please. I wouldn’t mind going to bed if you were here with me, though.
Stranger: i can go to bed wen i want aswell.its called being a teenager lool and your trying to be nice buts its not really wokring out for ya
You: Would you prefer I played the bad boy, you filthy whore?
Stranger: no thats just makes me laugh
You: What do you girls want?
Stranger: a normal boy who they can trust and make them happy and be themselves
You: None of those things apply to me. Would you at least be up for a fuck?
Stranger: ahha yh why not
You: Because I’m an ugly freak? That’s the usual reason nobody has sex with me.
Stranger: lool i bet ur not even ugly
You: http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/904/dreamboat.jpg I am.
Stranger: you look american :S
You: Are you calling me fat?
Stranger: no lool not all americans are fat
You: What do you look like?
Stranger: look me up on facebook faith read
You: http://www.facebook.com/people/Faith-Read/100002040941533 You look older than 14.
Stranger: thats not me :O ahha
You: Shut that mouth or I’ll shove my cock in it. I can’t find you.
Stranger: lool
Stranger: http://www.facebook.com/fread2
You: Do I need a Facebook profile to see it? I effectively don’t have a Facebook profile.
Stranger: im the first one that comes up
You: The first one that comes up for me has no picture. It just looks like a bedknob. However, without seeing you, I’m sure I’d fuck you.
Stranger: bedknob??
You: What about it?
Stranger: wat is it?
You: A knob atop the vertical parts of a bed. It’s nothing dirty like you thought.
Stranger: ohh aha i get ya
You: What sort of things do you do with your boyfriend?
Stranger: the usual stuff tbh
You: Spare no details.
Stranger: lool well wat do u think we do?
You: Do you two play Othello together?
Stranger: wats that? lool
You: It’s a game similar or identical to Go! A minute to learn, a lifetime to master.
Stranger: ohh no never herd of it
You: I’m not surprised. Have you ever lezzed it up with anyone?
Stranger: noo im completly straight
You: For the purposes of my wank, can you say you are a lesbian?
Stranger: ahha yh
You: Have you ever been in a threesome?
Stranger: noo wbu?
You: I’m the sort of person who gets off talking to fourteen-year-olds on Omegle. What do you think?
Stranger: fucked up in the head
You: I wouldn’t go that far.
Stranger: i would its weird nd u need to get a life
You: I’ll start by taking yours.
Stranger: u wished
You: I don’t actually want to kill you.
Stranger: thought so
You: How big are your tits?
Stranger: bid enought thnx.
You: Is that a bra size, “big enough”?
Stranger: no
Stranger: obvs not..never been shopping before
You: What is your best fetish?
Stranger: dont have ine tbh
Stranger: *one
You: You must have.
Stranger: nope
You: That’s a shame.
Stranger: lool
You: What are your hobbies?
Stranger: your really weird and ask alot f personal questions..i recomend that u grow up act ur age,have a hair cut,and get a job. k. thnx. bye.
You: So I can ask you about your tits, and that’s fine, but your hobbies are off limits?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.