Omegle

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: 17 f beverly hills california
You: I have been there.
Stranger: hahah u like it?
You: It’s alright. Do you like Orpington?
Stranger: just alright?
You: Yes. I prefer Orpington.
Stranger: ohh and nah not really
Stranger: im jackie btw
You: I am Lydon, but if I had any friends they’d call me something funny
Stranger: u dont have friends?
You: Maybe one or two or one.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: good afternoon.
Stranger: know any good songs?
You: Noise In My Ears by Inpropaic.
Stranger: never heard it
Stranger: do you like Paramore?
You: No, but I like sausages.
Stranger: omnomnom
Stranger: I like soup.
You: All soup?
Stranger: most soup…
Stranger: I think. lol
You: Semen-flavoured soup?
Stranger: ew
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: nice to meet u
You: From where are you?
Stranger: what?
Stranger: uk
Stranger: r u chinese?
You: No. Are you?
Stranger: where r u from?
You: England.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: do u know uk?
You: No. Where is it?
Stranger: r u british?
You: Yes.
Stranger: how come u dont know uk….
Stranger: r u indian…
You: I thought you were joking so I was playing along.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: ok
Stranger: good
Stranger: good one..
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 24
You: You are very old. You are like Methuselah from the Bible.
Stranger: thank u
Stranger: how old r u
Stranger: gender?
You: I am a little 17-year-old boy.
Stranger: ok
You: Are you male or inferior?
Stranger: f
[There was a delay long enough to look up the word inferior.]
Stranger: r u a bastard
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: were u from cus here it night
You: England.
Stranger: yes
You: Thanks for confirming my answer.
Stranger: were u from
Stranger: r u a girl
Stranger: women
You: Yes. I am an women.
Stranger: what ur nma
Stranger: name
You: Lydon.
Stranger: were u from
You: St Mary Cray.
Stranger: were at wat country
You: England.
Stranger: were about
You: St Mary Cray.
Stranger: were is that
You: England.
Stranger: kk
Stranger: wat do u like doing
Stranger: in ur spare time
You: I like playing Xbox.
Stranger: nd u r a girl
You: That’s a lie if you’re an idiot.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: female
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 18
Stranger: you
You: 17 years young. From where are you, old lady?
Stranger: old lady? thanks
Stranger: from turkey you?
You: England. What are you wearing?
Stranger: t-shirt and jean
Stranger: why
You: I need to do something about my boner.
Stranger: your boner? what do you mean
You: I mean do you have a boyfriend?
Stranger: no we have just broken up
You: That’s sad. Why?
Stranger: he doesnt love me
You: The bastard. Did he just use you for sex?
Stranger: he used me for his ego
You: Men are pigs. Do you like sex?
Stranger: im virgin young boy :)
You: Not for long, if I have anything to do with it.
Stranger: why you are so corious about me virginity or what im wearing young boy?
You: Because I am a horny male, but I’m also writing a book.
Stranger: hey im elder than you so respect :)
You: I show to respect to all women.
You: Do you have any naked photos of yourself?
Stranger: no i havent
You: That’s a shame.
Stranger: sorry but im here for looking penpals
You: Penpals with benefits?
Stranger: I wanna improve my english im good at it but i just wanna talk with stranger
You: About what do you want to talk?
Stranger: i wanna talk about everything
Stranger: for instance
Stranger: about their culture food how they live about their school
You: I like sausages but you’re probably not allowed them. At school, I can talk to members of the opposite sex, but you’re probably not allowed to.
Stranger: we can eat sauseges and we can talk with boys :)
Stranger: but we dont eat pig meat
Stranger: its sin
You: Sausages don’t have to be pig, so I’ll give you that one. Is everyone who eats pig going to Hell?
Stranger: no but its sin we believe like that
Stranger: but i dont believe like that
You: Do you mean you don’t believe eating pig is a sin?
Stranger: yes i eat pig meat
You: Good girl.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: 15 female uk
You: What part?
Stranger: preston, you?
You: London. I actually meant what part of you is female.
Stranger: wtf?
Stranger: all of me?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: I am the oracel ask me anything and i will answer
You: How do you spell Oracle?
Stranger: oracle
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: u think that girls were born to suck cocks?
You: No, you fucking nonce. I would never get head from a baby.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: BOOO!!!
You: Aaaahhhh.
Stranger: FINALLLY!!!
Stranger: SOMEONE IS AFRAID OF MEE
Stranger: My goodness
Stranger: You’re my hero!
You: What do you look like so I know of whom to be afraid?
Stranger: Well, my name is Jamie
Stranger: Don’t let the name fool you though
Stranger: I’m a dude
You: You’re a dud, more like.
Stranger: and I’m probably the splitting image of James Bond
Stranger: now now, don’t get nasty
Stranger: we just met
You: I like it nasty.
Stranger: Good for you
Stranger: At least you’re getting some
You: Not until I speak to Alicia Booth.
Stranger: Who’s Alicia Booth?
You: She will be my girlfriend.
Stranger: oohhhhhh
Stranger: your crushhh
You: I’m not even fat and if I was, she could go on top.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: Let the girl do all the work eh?
Stranger: while you just lie there
You: That’s my plan.
Stranger: that’s generous of you
Stranger: so what’s your name dude?
You: Lydon.
Stranger: Nice to meet you Lydon
Stranger: Where are you from?
You: From England I am.
Stranger: ahhh
Stranger: England
Stranger: God Save the Queen
You: The fascist regime?
Stranger: yeap
Stranger: For one, you’re named after Jonny Rotten
You: I am impressed.
Stranger: Thank You
Stranger: Punk Rock \m/
You: What?
Stranger: nothingg
Stranger: How old are ya?
You: I am 17 years young. How old are yi?
Stranger: I’m 18 this sept
Stranger: so 17 years young too
Stranger: From Singapore i am
Stranger: you guys used to own this land
You: And now look at it.
Stranger: It’s more cleaner and advanced than you guys can ever do
Stranger: so yay us
You: I see your country drives on the left.
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: The Steering wheel is on the right side
Stranger: like you guys
Stranger: not the wrong side
Stranger: like the french
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: nope
You: Please.
Stranger: I’m insulted dude
Stranger: Thinking I’m gay
Stranger: Fuckk man
Stranger: Do I seem gay?
You: A little.
Stranger: shit
Stranger: no wonder I can’t get the ladies
You: You are such a loser.
Stranger: Speak for yourself
You: I am.
Stranger: You’re a loser too?
Stranger: Such a lsoer you can’t get Alicia Booth?
You: I need to speak to her first.
Stranger: So you haven’t even tried
Stranger: What’s the matter?
Stranger: Cat got your balls?
You: Who are you, the honey monster? I get scared.
Stranger: It’s much better than starting out with asl
Stranger: asl fucking SUCKS
Stranger: Whatever happened to getting to know those information through the art of conversation
You: In a real world conversation, they would all be fairly obvious. It sets a decent pretext for the conversation.
Stranger: True
Stranger: Except they’ll disconnect you if you don’t suit them
Stranger: they don’t even bother trying
Stranger: all those wankers are just out to talk to girls
You: I was hoping you were a girl, actually.
Stranger: Close enough innit?
Stranger: Since you thought you were gay
Stranger: I was gay**
Stranger: sorry
You: I can tell the difference between a woman’s vagia and a man’s arse, so no, it’s not close enough.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: touche
You: No you’re a douche.
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: I try my best
Stranger: what brings you to this God’forsaken site anyway?
You: Looking for pussy.
Stranger: You do know this is text based yeah?
Stranger: you wouldn’t be able to see some
Stranger: Why not go don’t to your local pub
Stranger: you’ll get better luck there
Stranger: down*
You: I am scared of the sort of people who frequent pubs.
Stranger: Wow
Stranger: So you resort to omegle instead
Stranger: isn’t it pathetic?
You: No. I had cybersex with a 13-year-old once but it turned out to be a man but it was still fun while it lasted.
Stranger: Ignorance is bliss?
Stranger: and you go for 13-year-olds?
Stranger: Sexual predators in the making?
You: If they are there for the taking, yes.
Stranger: right
Stranger: I might be a douche
Stranger: but you’re a creep
You: They look and feel the same.
Stranger: who?
You: 13-year-olds and older ladies.
Stranger: speaking from experience?
You: I wish.
Stranger: so you’re just making an assumption?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Awesome
Stranger: Good luck with Alicia Booth
Stranger: and Your life
You: Thank you.
Stranger: i’m sure you guys will make a lovely couple
Stranger: Cheers!
You: Good luck with your legs.
Stranger: legs?
You: Sorry. Do you not have legs?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: but it’s a strange thing to wish good luck to
You: I thought it was normal.
Stranger: anyway
Stranger: Good luck with your life
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Alicia Booth said no, the slag.

Stranger: hiya
You: I am male too.
Stranger: and im female
You: Human?
Stranger: obvs
You: From where are you?
Stranger: england you freak
You: Why am I freak?
Stranger: coz u ask werid questions
You: I’m only asking “ASL” the long way.
Stranger: okeyy then were u from?
You: England.
Stranger: were bouts in england?
You: London. You?
Stranger: essex
Stranger: you girl or boy?
You: Are you actually retarded?
Stranger: pfft no
You: Read what you’ve already acknowledged. How old are you?
Stranger: ohh yh lmao!! and im 14 why? im just abit dumb lool
You: Got a boyfriend, little girl?
Stranger: lool and yh..how old are you??
You: I’m 17 years young.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: you got a girlfriend/
You: Not yet. I will have one by the end of this conversation, though.
Stranger: looool
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: my p.j’s scening it is 11:05
You: You should be asleep.
Stranger: so should you
You: I’m a big boy. I go to bed when I please. I wouldn’t mind going to bed if you were here with me, though.
Stranger: i can go to bed wen i want aswell.its called being a teenager lool and your trying to be nice buts its not really wokring out for ya
You: Would you prefer I played the bad boy, you filthy whore?
Stranger: no thats just makes me laugh
You: What do you girls want?
Stranger: a normal boy who they can trust and make them happy and be themselves
You: None of those things apply to me. Would you at least be up for a fuck?
Stranger: ahha yh why not
You: Because I’m an ugly freak? That’s the usual reason nobody has sex with me.
Stranger: lool i bet ur not even ugly
You: http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/904/dreamboat.jpg I am.
Stranger: you look american :S
You: Are you calling me fat?
Stranger: no lool not all americans are fat
You: What do you look like?
Stranger: look me up on facebook faith read
You: http://www.facebook.com/people/Faith-Read/100002040941533 You look older than 14.
Stranger: thats not me :O ahha
You: Shut that mouth or I’ll shove my cock in it. I can’t find you.
Stranger: lool
Stranger: http://www.facebook.com/fread2
You: Do I need a Facebook profile to see it? I effectively don’t have a Facebook profile.
Stranger: im the first one that comes up
You: The first one that comes up for me has no picture. It just looks like a bedknob. However, without seeing you, I’m sure I’d fuck you.
Stranger: bedknob??
You: What about it?
Stranger: wat is it?
You: A knob atop the vertical parts of a bed. It’s nothing dirty like you thought.
Stranger: ohh aha i get ya
You: What sort of things do you do with your boyfriend?
Stranger: the usual stuff tbh
You: Spare no details.
Stranger: lool well wat do u think we do?
You: Do you two play Othello together?
Stranger: wats that? lool
You: It’s a game similar or identical to Go! A minute to learn, a lifetime to master.
Stranger: ohh no never herd of it
You: I’m not surprised. Have you ever lezzed it up with anyone?
Stranger: noo im completly straight
You: For the purposes of my wank, can you say you are a lesbian?
Stranger: ahha yh
You: Have you ever been in a threesome?
Stranger: noo wbu?
You: I’m the sort of person who gets off talking to fourteen-year-olds on Omegle. What do you think?
Stranger: fucked up in the head
You: I wouldn’t go that far.
Stranger: i would its weird nd u need to get a life
You: I’ll start by taking yours.
Stranger: u wished
You: I don’t actually want to kill you.
Stranger: thought so
You: How big are your tits?
Stranger: bid enought thnx.
You: Is that a bra size, “big enough”?
Stranger: no
Stranger: obvs not..never been shopping before
You: What is your best fetish?
Stranger: dont have ine tbh
Stranger: *one
You: You must have.
Stranger: nope
You: That’s a shame.
Stranger: lool
You: What are your hobbies?
Stranger: your really weird and ask alot f personal questions..i recomend that u grow up act ur age,have a hair cut,and get a job. k. thnx. bye.
You: So I can ask you about your tits, and that’s fine, but your hobbies are off limits?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Are you a sexy male?
Stranger: yeh
You: Me too.
Stranger: are you girl?
You: Yes, yes I am.
Stranger: ohhhhhh
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 17 years young.
Stranger: have you got skype
Stranger: ?
You: No; I recently had an STD check.
Stranger: do you want me?
You: Not particularly. You seem a little thick.
Stranger: really?
You: Yes.
Stranger: i want you
You: My men have to have a knowledge of simple two word phrases.
Stranger: i want to fuck you
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: nooooooooo
You: You definitely are.
Stranger: are you girl?
You: Can you read the first three lines of this conversation for me please?
Stranger: oh sorry
Stranger: pussy
You: No. I have a penis.
Stranger: what?
You: Surely you’ve seen enough of them to know what one is?
Stranger: what is your name?
You: Lydon Pearsall.
Stranger: i want to fuck you
Stranger: do you want?
You: You’re definitely a wind-up merchant.
Stranger: fuck your mother
You: No thanks.
Stranger: i want to see you/…
You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:HappyShopper.jpg This is me.
You: Sorry, that’s the Happy Shopper logo. This is me: http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/904/dreamboat.jpg
Stranger: where may i write it
Stranger: ?
You: In a journal or on the inside of a cereal box, maybe?
Stranger: have you got facebook?
You: Not one I’d share with the likes of you.
Stranger: one minut please
Stranger: are you beautifull
Stranger: ?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I am 12 inches. Do you want me?
Stranger: yeah!
You: ASL?
Stranger: 19 f ny
You: Niiiiiice. Like what do you look?
Stranger: um,
Stranger: im a brunette
Stranger: im 5’6″ and im a c cup ;)
You: You are 5.5 times my height.
Stranger: damn
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: hy
Stranger: uff.
You: Hello.
Stranger: everybodys so fast.
Stranger: 15, female, germany.
You: Guten Abends.
Stranger: Hallo! :D
Stranger: Kannst du deutsch nur ein bisschen, oder gut?
You: Ja.
Stranger: Ja?
Stranger: Cute.
You: Ich kenne Deutsch.
Stranger: My heart is already yours.
You: Is your body mine too?
Stranger: never.
You: I tried.
Stranger: now, my heart is not yours anymore.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 5. Male. England.
Stranger: 5?
You: Yes. Got a problem with that?
Stranger: yeah. namely, i’m not a rapist. so
You: So what? I’d probably consent.
Stranger: so it’d be consensual rape. that’s still jailtime
You: Why would it be rape?
Stranger: because you are five and i am an adult. if i boned you, it’d be unright.
You: Is it against the law to have sex with someone with a small penis?
Stranger: when it’s a five year old, yes.
You: I think you misunderstand. I’m 5 inches.
Stranger: oh, i see. well i definitely understand now.
Stranger: ;)
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: i’m a straight girl.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 36
You: You are more a woman than a girl.
Stranger: okay dick. i still got the tits and the pussy.
You: I’m not complaining.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I am a gay potatoes.
Stranger: i am a gay carrot!
You: What?
Stranger: i know right
You: You seem interesting. Do you want to have sex with me?
Stranger: well im not a gay potato, this could be difficult
You: I’m not really a gay potatoes.
Stranger: oh wow, you dodged a bullet there man, its not fun
Stranger: however, are you a wizard>
You: I’m not/
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: are you a dude or what
You: I may not be a wizard, but I sure can jizz hard. Does that answer your question?
Stranger: jizz in your pants or in the air like you just don;t care/
You: On my stomach.
Stranger: oh gross. i find that its quite a forceful orgasm and so i get it on my face
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: im wearing a strap on that;s not fake
Stranger: in other words im a dude
Stranger: and a troll
You: Are you trolling now?
Stranger: what do you do when confronted by a troll?
You: Get a bigger goat.
Stranger: ok, in all seriousness. can i ask you something?
You: No.
Stranger: Fucking magnets dude…how do they work?
You: The power of Christ compels them.
Stranger: so jesus is a wizard?
You: Wizards and Jesus are made-up.
Stranger: ok, im outta here. gotta go fuck my hand
You: Bye.
Stranger: have a good one
Stranger: walk with the earthmother
You: Blessing of Akatosh upon ye.
Stranger: may the eternal sun shine upon you
You: Piss off, then.
Stranger: :)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You:
I don’t want to sounds like a weirdo or anything, but can I fist your arsehole until I can see your intestines and my hand is covered in shit while you piss on me?
Stranger: have you seen catfish?
You: Yes.
Stranger: what a film hey
You: I have not seen a film by that name.
Stranger: oh………..
Stranger: why did you lie then?
You: From where I come, we start titles with capital letters.
Stranger: Touch

You: 5. Male. England.
Stranger: D
Stranger: 5?
You: Yes.
Stranger: You are lying
You: No. I’m sitting down.
Stranger: Children should be at schhol
now
You: At 4:30 in the afternoon?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Will you be my girlfriend?
Stranger: no
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: heyy
You: I am male.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: f 19 usa
You: What brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: bored wbu?
You: I am conducting a subliminal advertising campaign.
Stranger: your advertizing something?
You: No. I’m advertising something.
Stranger: well well mr sarcasm
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: I am gay.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: awesome
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: No
Stranger: I am f
You: You may as well be gay.
Stranger: uh?
You: I see. So from where are you?
Stranger: I’m from Espana
You: Is that near Spain?
Stranger: right
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 19 years old
Stranger: you?
You: I am just 17.
Stranger: where r u from?
You: England.
Stranger: umm..
Stranger: do you like football?
You: GOOOAAAL! No.
Stranger: what is your favorite sport?
You: Does Monopoly count as a sport?
Stranger: oh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Can we have sex?
Stranger: AIDEN GRIMSHAW
You: Gayden Gaywhore, more like.
Stranger: Pfffft.
You: Yes, he is a poof.
Stranger: And you are a shitbag.
You: Why do you say so?
Stranger: Just cause of the shit you just said..
You: You are a mean person.
Stranger: So are you :O
You: So, do you want to have sex with me?
Stranger: NO!
You: Why not?
Stranger: You are a poof ;)
You: True.
Stranger: Thats why.
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: Noooo?
You: Yes you are.
Stranger: No I’m not. I like Aiden!
Stranger: We has sex ;)
Stranger: *had
You: So you must be a gay, then.
Stranger: Eh I’m a female. Idiot
You: A female. I apologise for everyone bad I’ve said to you. What do you look like?
Stranger: You’re not forgiven.
You: Please forgive me. You should spank me so I learn my lesson.
Stranger: I’d rather spank AIDENS ass, if it’s all the same to you :)
You: I look like him and can sing like him.
Stranger: Pffft. Then you called yourself gay?!
You: I called him gay before I knew who he was.
Stranger: So you dont even know who he is?
You: I do now.
Stranger: & he’s not gay, right?
You: He might be.
Stranger: HE’S NOT
You: Got any proof?
Stranger: HE HAS HAD GIRLFRIENDS!
You: Who all look like men.
Stranger: Are you having a laugh?!
You: I’m a wind-up merchant.
Stranger: Thought as much.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 16
You: I can barely remember when I was 16. It seems like so long ago.
Stranger: How old are you?!
You: 17.
Stranger: No you’re not.
You: Yes I am, little girl.
Stranger: Fuck you
You: Sorry, love.
Stranger: Meh.
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Why should I tell a creep like you?
You: I’m not a creep.
Stranger: CREEP
You: I don’t look creepy. http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/904/dreamboat.jpg
Stranger: YOU’RE A CREEP! YOU’RE A WEIRDO! WHAT THR HE’LL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Stranger: *the hell
You: Why are you so angry? Are you on your period?
Stranger: Pahaha.
You: So where do you live?
Stranger: Twitter
You: Do you live in air?
Stranger: TWITTER DOESNT HAVE AIR
You: Calm down, young lady.
Stranger: FUCK YOU
You: I am sorry for whatever I have done to offend you.
Stranger: YOU CALLED AIDEN A POOF. That’s enough to offend me.
You: He is as straight as an arrow. Now can you tell me your address please?
Stranger: Why you want to know my address so bad? STALKER.
You: There is a difference between a stalker and a rapist.
Stranger: RAPIST! :O
You: Shut that mouth or I’ll shove my cock in it.
Stranger: You have a problem. SHUT THE FUCK UP
You: You love the attention.
Stranger: Attention from rapist? Yeah right…
Stranger: *a
You: I’m not even a rapist. When we have sex it will be concensual.
Stranger: I bet you are. And what?
You: And I’ll kiss your neck passionately and gently rub your nipples.
Stranger: Fuck offfffff. GET A LIFE
You: I’ll take yours, thanks.
Stranger: FUCKING CREEP
You: I’ve apologised for calling your boyfriend gay, so why are you still angry at me?
Stranger: You are a rapist & want to take my life.
You: Oh yeah.
Stranger: BYE!
You: Please don’t go. I am very lonely.
Stranger: LOL
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Hello. Please love me.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: hugging the stranger :D
You: I’m sorry. This doesn’t normally happen.
You: Can we forget about this and start again?
Stranger: yeah :D
You: I’m all sticky now. What is your A., S. and L.?
Stranger: my A ist 15, my S female and my L germany and whats about ur A S ‘nd L?
You: I am 17 and male from England, but no hard feelings about the war…
You: that we won.
Stranger: :D
Stranger: which war?
You: The main two. What brings you to Omegle, young lady?
Stranger: I dont know … meebo is bad so I searched a new website :D
Stranger: and whats about u?
You: I am conducting a subliminal advertising campaign.
Stranger: are u kidding me?
You: Yes.
Stranger: haha :D
You: Do you have a boyfriend?
Stranger: no
Stranger: and u … a boyfriend *g*
You: Yes. I have a boyfriend because I am very gay.
Stranger: oh yeah :D
Stranger: I have dinner now so bye
You: Bye, sexy.
Stranger: or u waiting a half our xD
Stranger: hou*
Stranger: hour*
You: I could wait.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: r u there?
You: No.
Stranger: oh … such a sad thing
You: I’m back now, though. What did you have for dinner?
Stranger: bread and other boring things
You: You can’t have bread for dinner.
Stranger: why not?
You: It’s not much. What did you have with it?
Stranger: meat or cheese
You: Was it a sandwich?
Stranger: kinda
You: What is your favourite food?
Stranger: well pineapple
Stranger: i know its just a fruit
You: I like mangos.
Stranger: mangos r yummy
You: Like you.
Stranger: thx
You: What do you want to be as your job?
Stranger: friut salat is the best thing of life
Stranger: soldier
You: I don’t believe you.
Stranger: really! My mum is going to kill me xD
Stranger: but y not?
You: Why do you want to be a soldier?
Stranger: I dont know… its strange but I want to be one
You: Do you want to kill people?
Stranger: not really but someone ould do it
Stranger: would*
You: What are your hobbies?
Stranger: hockey :D sport, sport, sport and ur?
You: Anything but sport. I used to play hockey, though.
Stranger: really thats great :D
Stranger: field hockey is so … I cant discribe it
You: It’s alright.
Stranger: haha :) lol
You: For how long have you been learning English?
Stranger: 1, 2, 3 … 5 years I think and I’m still bad xD
You: I agree.
Stranger: … o.o … meeeep
You: u r good at english
Stranger: haha :)
Stranger: thank u
Stranger: but my mark last year was a 5 the worsest is a 6
Stranger: haha
You: I have understood everything you have said apart from this “lol” word.
Stranger: wow … thats … well … I dont know
You: What is your favourite subject?
Stranger: biologie
Stranger: and ur?
You: I only do maths and engineering. I prefer engineering.
Stranger: we dont have engineering
Stranger: art is nice too
You: Do you like painting?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: and u?
You: I’m no good at painting so no.
Stranger: but it is fun
You: I prefer computer based drawing.
Stranger: im to stupid for that … lol
You: I’m sure you’re not. What are you wearing?
Stranger: why r u asking me that kind of question?
You: Because I am a lonely freak.
Stranger: oh … whats ur name?
You: Lydon. What is yours?
Stranger: annika
Stranger: Lydon is like London :D
You: Annika is like Vinegar. When I was about 4, I went to America and the kids there called me London.
Stranger: oh dear u have a trauma :D
You: Have you any vinegar-related traumas?
Stranger: no, not yet
You: Are you expecting some?
Stranger: i really dont know
You: What music do you like?
Stranger: everything :D I know thats strange
You: Even electronic?
Stranger: sometimes, yeah
You: What is one of your favourite songs?
Stranger: sorry my internet is crashing down ._.
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello, young man.
Stranger: hi
You: From where are you?
Stranger: usa and im 20
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: jeans and shirt
You: Very sexy.
Stranger: lol
You: What?
Stranger: idk
You: What part os the USA?
Stranger: georgia
You: That is a country in Europe. I thought you said you were American?
Stranger: yeah im from Georgia the state in the USA
Stranger: its in southern US
You: Georgia is a girl’s name, not a state.
Stranger: it was named after King George of ENgland take it up with him
You: Calm down, love.
Stranger: lol :P
You: Do you want to meet up for sex one day?
Stranger: how?
You: It would have to be anally.
Stranger: ok, im lost
You: You’re in Georgia.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Bye.
Stranger: hahahahaha
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.